Vibskov and wursts
PEOPLE & MOOD: It’s a new golden age in the cornucopia of Copenhagen, we are fealing it like Rome’s last fun filled days in a connected city with smart bridges, roof top gardens and cool, funky sustainable solutions – centered on pure pleasure – believe the hype. Its a green fairytale city stuffed with great festivals , hygge & food fetishists. Its like a tiny Monocle or Wallpaper installation – without the anal stress for perfection – run by the most beautiful, well educated and liberated folks on the planet – don’t be fooled by their seemingly cool attitude – it’s only a sky look. Make no mistake – we are not arrogant, superficial or cold – just deep and understated. Denmark is more than vintage porn, The Bridge series, The Muhammed Crises, bacon, Lars Von Trier, Blixen, Borge, Bohr, Paludan, Aqua, Olafur, Viggo, HC Andersen, Vammen, Mø and all the soccer gods. And after the succes of Tivoli, Christiania and free porn in the 1960s, we decided to clone it and make the whole city into one horny minimal eco-Tivoli for adults.
Another wild street party
So come and play with us in spring – in May – and leave in September before the Kierkegaard-ish dull winter. Come see understated elegant horny people roam the city’s catwalks like designer peacocks – radiating health, biking with bags of micro brews and well curated music playing on their B&O headsets – in contrast to a multitude of weird custom bikes playing digidub-dancehall topped by human beatboxers on dwarf trick bikes in fashion icon Vibskovs latest gear – casually high on pot, as if it was already legal. White limousines, horse-carts, old military trucks and S.U.V.s. packed with preppy-styled “Generation Horse (Ketamine)“ in ironic pastel Ralph Lauren and Yeezy gear cruise around spraying the few remaining bums with splashes of magnum bubbles, as they pass Japanese and Italian tourists eating gourmet grasshopper parfait and chat to SS-Ilse lookalike blondes in the world’s happiest almost funtex-free city.
The male Mermaid – By Elmgreen/Dragset
Copenhagen is the epicenter of liberation and post-feminism – the sexes have switched roles several times throughout the last 60 years and they flirt like it’s a large outdoor latino disco filmed in soft focus, just before the clothes are torn off in the red-purple dusk. Its like life’s reality-bubble is evaporated, outdated, passé. A couple of playboys with skateboards dressed as tattooed Antwerp diamond dealers politely debate the latest trends in fonts or colour grading on the corner between secret über-designer microboutiques. The good life is almost a law here.
Chill in style – Royal Greenland fur – Denmarks fantastic colony
After the last romas are imprisoned for begging, it’s as if reason, aesthetics and pure guiltless enjoyment have finally prevailed in our airy city, and our world now is recharged with meaning and energy again – after the dark middle age of the late-postmodern tunnel. Copenhagen is EU’s own Christiana, Germany’s clitoris, where even the most marginal avant-garde ideas can have a lucrative life. Copenhagen is so safe, and over the city a discreet noise-free monitoring airship hangs permanently, after too many complaints about scary black spy helicopters.
Even pollution is poetic here
The city’s lively natives can be divided into two main groups – “the perfect people” – who are insatiable and ambitious in their quest for the best – and the more zen-like mature Danes fueled by identity via creative practices, emphatic pursuits & pure lifestyle games – sucked up in the local Nirvana-like-mindstate: hygge – and hysterical upbringing rituals – “curling-parenting”. Both groups enjoy Teslas and Christiania bikes, and meet over glasses of organic vine in shorts in public parks or on a boat. The original native originals with their cosmopolitan and critical consioussness are suppressed and marginalized by an invasion of middle class yuppies from Jutland camouflaged as hipsters – they dominate politics and the media too.
No wonder my billionaire NYC friends revisit every year – Copenhagen is one of the few places in the world where ugly people can get laid in flip-flops without flashing funds – and trust me, even trust fund kids need that kind of romance. Copenhagen is so sensible the over-taxed that cars are about to be illegal and it’s almost impossible to get non-ecological food or go to a non-designer bar without a curated indie soundtrack and model staff. The last sterile barista innovator or crazy mixologist is not born yet.
Fine neo-brutalism deconstructing the harbour
One could argue that Copenhagen is a tiny dark and mystic mix of cities like Amsterdam, Hamburg and London, and provide little original twists – but the perfect balance of old low buildings and brutalist Lego stuff like Blox make a stirring but transparent backdrop for Copenhagen´s main course…or curse maybe ; hygge. It’s one big tastefull – but not vulgar – no stress zone. End your trip with a little golf in Dyrehaven – the green is popping with psilocybin and randy Bambi´s – next to at rough version of Tivoli – Bakken and beaches filled with waterpipes. But let’s cut to the chase – the unique Copenhagen flavor in my list of unique fail safe Copenhagen experiences:
The new Noma by Bjarke Ingels – I want to live there
FOOD – A never ending cornucopia of eateries pop up and close again – I return to these stable players: down to earth food is available at Bistro Boheme (french), Salon (by “Den røde”), Sankt Annæ or Aamans (Smørrebrød at lunch), Atlas bar (hippie), Holmens best La Banchiana, Shawarma no. 1 (cheap Lebanese), Plant power food (for food monks) and Fiskebaren (fish). And don’t forget cakes at La Glacé or fantastic ice-cream at the Sicilian in Skydebanegade or Nicecream at Enghave plads. Check Noma – the mytological epicenter of new nordic relocated to a new BIG-designed location – but book your table before your flight ticket.
Hotels – smell authentic hygge via airbnb or sleep at Sanders next to the royal Theater – or at Nimb next to the horrible Tivoli – or make a safe investment in an apartment here before it reaches London´s prices.
Olafurs new bridge
Transport – central CPH is originally built for horses – you can walk or rent a bike as all the main hotspots are max 30 min. apart. Forget about cars here. Or rent a electric boat. NIGHTLIFE – generally the music sucks, the soundsystems are cheap – and you have to stand in line with very young drunk people – bars tend to be more friendly. Clubs are usually about tables and bottles – find Dorsia, Arch, Lusso, Dandy, Søpavillionen and Dolores on facebook if thats your game – or Kødbyen and Chateu Motel for a younger, more relaxed “can of beer” vibe – or Mayhem, Culture Box or Loppen for “underground”. For good music you have to watch out for specialist music events and festivals. Avoid theatre and local bands. Go to Cafe Malmø for the ultimate Bodega trip – ask for Ole, the owner – he will sort you out – or play pool naked. Swim in the clean habour nearby to clean your head. Take a shot more…repeat.
Commit suicide in style – visit Louisiana
MUSEUMS – A lot of central crucial museums are connected with parks where you can look at naked teens – or go to Charlottenborg.
If you are up north visit Louisiana – its a bit Taschens-Book-ish, but nice in that dry Scandinavian way. Check out current art events on kopenhagen.dk – check the fernissage page, as the Danes love to get tipsy and flirt in galleries showing collectable, but absurd art. Avoid conversations about the show at openings.
Invest in your ass
SHOPPING – You can get the usual arcade-semi-high-end brands here, but forget about shopping your Balenciaga in Copenhagen – stick to the local minimal classics – shopping those understated puritan icons is a guiltless timeless experience and feels like buying art or having therapy – and your heirs will love you later. Illums Bolighus have the most of the classics if you want to live like a German dentist, and in Bredgade Bruun Rasmussen sells the patinated and out of stock collectors stuff – and Jorn, Hammershøj etc. Go to Andersens for the next Olafur (he´s not really Islandic) In the center resides a true magician. The Danes hate all things fake – botox look cheap and robotic – so they put pride in aging with grace. If you share this point of view, book a TCM treatment at Nui – a fave for the local divas you love from the Nordic noir films.
My favorite walks:
Try this…
Central Copenhagen tour – a posh arty design foodie route – combine boats and bikes or walk – featuring most of the aforementioned hotspots
Social art in the ghetto – uniting symbols from dead utopias
Slum it in on the romantic pre-gentrified edges: most of the refugees are outsourced to the non-designer provinces and the poor are expelled to suburbia – but if you really must see some “autentic” folks – and be a tourist in other peoples misery – and snap some looser portraits with your Leica – go to the North West hood – squatters, radical muslims, Romas, trancers, gangs, crusties and bikers peacefully coexist here, it’s totally safe, but remember to dress down. Hipster Hellholes: check Jægersborggade, Elmegade, Istedgade, Lars Bjørnstræde, Stefansgade, Den røde plads, Nansensgade, Dronning Louises bro, Kødbyen – if you´re into dead “subcultural” lifestyle museums.
It took a lot of weed to build this lovely house
Do visit Christiania if you want to see an X-squat area turned into a hippie-museum – enjoy the world class selection of hash that even takes out Amsterdams selection – don’t be afraid of the masked gentlemen trading – they are only masked for the cameras (no photos please) – choose some organic weed if you want to operate heavy equipment and wonder at the local versions of historic dead subcultures mating. Visit the legendary ALIS shop and ramp – ask for super-nice owner Albert. Chill out by the lake and be inspired by the non-restricted amateur-auteur-arcitects huts – Noma is around the corner if you get the munchies and need order again.
Copenhagen is still an easy place to go and snatch up fresh ideas and new partners – see you soon – for special arrangements and guides mail us here