ANTI-ISM: In the past, there was always a group or a self-appointed genius who sought to take the throne, or an emerging religion that aimed to overthrow its predecessors by declaring them outdated, passé, and “so very last year.” This mechanism still exists within politics, philosophy, and art.

Isms tend to be invasive, even if their fans deny having a binary worldview based on belief, they feel they have a patent on reality and everyone else should kneel to their ideas. 

Today, everything is accelerating, the rules are bypassed, and we have so much informational power that it’s absurd to try to encapsulate the fleeting reality flux with a universal dogmatic code that often bypasses common sense and rational empathy.

That’s why here’s a cheat code for -isms: mix your mutant, or drop it and act as a human from moment to moment—but never forget where you want to end up. Here is a relatively non-biased cheat code to the major isms:

Abolitionism

Good thing: Advocates for the immediate end of slavery and human trafficking.
Worst thing: Can be criticized for disregarding the complexities of economic and social systems when calling for an immediate abolition.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue as an important moral stance and human rights advocacy.

Absolutism

Good thing: Can bring strong, centralized leadership that provides stability.
Worst thing: Leads to authoritarian rule, the suppression of freedoms, and lack of checks on power.
Death toll: Millions, particularly under absolutist monarchs and dictatorships.
Future: The tech-lords want it in a 2.0.

Anarchism

Good thing: Advocates for self-governance and the abolition of hierarchical structures.
Worst thing: Can lead to chaos, lawlessness, and power vacuums exploited by criminal elements. Anarchy = riot in media newspeak.
Death toll: Associated with violence in revolutionary movements, but no direct death toll.
Future: Likely to continue as a niche political movement, though difficult to implement in large-scale societies without a shift in consciousness; anarchy is more of a utopian ideal now.

Anti-Capitalism

Good thing: Seeks to eliminate economic inequality and exploitation caused by capitalist systems.
Worst thing: Can lead to economic inefficiency and authoritarian regimes when attempted in practice.
Death toll: Millions, particularly in socialist or communist regimes that attempted anti-capitalist policies.
Future: Likely to remain a critique of global capitalism, though it faces significant opposition from the owners and their slaves.

Anti-ism

Best:
Refuses to be boxed in. Question every label, tribe, and ideological shortcut. Values direct experience over dogma. Keeps the mind agile and allergic to groupthink.

Worst:
Risks becoming its rigid identity: proud of believing in nothing except opposing everything. Easy to slide into smug nihilism, endless contrarianism, or lonely detachment.

Death Toll:
Subtle. Kills movements before they start, friendships before they deepen, and ideas before they ripen. Death by chronic distrust.

Future Point:
In an era overloaded with brands and belief systems, Anti-ism could either blossom into a healthy skepticism, or curdle into a cultural autoimmune disease, where every idea is rejected before it’s understood.

Apatheism

Good thing: Advocates for indifference toward religion, focusing on personal wellbeing over ideological conflict.
Worst thing: Can lead to passivity in the face of social injustice or moral challenges.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to grow among secular populations who reject organized religion but are not actively hostile to it. Big among slackers and bored x-activists.

Berlingske-ism

Best:
Steady hand in chaotic times. Values tradition, order, and pragmatic debate. Brings a certain stable grown-up seriousness to a world drowning in noise and trends. Does not hide the power of money. Not shy about sucking up to a winner.

Worst:
Clings to outdated hierarchies and blind spots about privilege. Retro-conservative, Hidden racism and classism. Populistic. Risks becoming a nostalgic museum piece, mistaking inertia for wisdom. A lot of articles is camoflaged PR and ads for lobbyists. Denial of ressesion, insist on the trickle-down effect. 

Death Toll:
Cultural: slow death of curiosity, as change is politely delayed until it’s irrelevant. Also: erosion of social mobility masked by polite editorial neutrality. Make me feel I live in a strip joint, everything has a price tag.

Future Point:
Berlingske-ism might pivot into luxury-brand centrism—tasteful, risk-averse, survivalist—or wither as new elites demand fresher myths and less polished manners. Will survives as long as there are lobbyists and PR-dinners.

Berlingskeism

Best:
Steady hand in chaotic times. Values tradition, order, and pragmatic debate. Brings a certain stable grown-up seriousness to a world drowning in noise and trends. Does not hide the power of money. Not shy about sucking up to a winner.

Worst:
Clings to outdated hierarchies and blind spots about privilege. Retro-conservative, Hidden racism and classism. Populistic. Risks becoming a nostalgic museum piece, mistaking inertia for wisdom. A lot of articles is camouflaged PR and ads for lobbyists. Denial of recession, insist on the trickle-down effect. Dark blue, almost black. Provincial mindset.

Death Toll:
Cultural: slow death of curiosity, as change is politely delayed until it’s irrelevant. Also, erosion of social mobility masked by polite editorial neutrality. Make me feel I live in a strip joint, everything has a price tag.

Future Point:
Berlingske-ism might pivot into luxury-brand centrism—tasteful, risk-averse, survivalist—or wither as new elites demand fresher myths and less polished manners. Will survives as long as there are lobbyists and PR dinners.

Buddhism

Good thing: Advocates for inner peace, mindfulness, and compassion.
Worst thing: Can be misused for commercial purposes or lead to detachment from social action. Easy to control, opium for the masses.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Will likely continue to grow, especially in the West, as a source of personal peace and mindfulness.

Capitalism

Good thing: Fosters economic growth, innovation, and individual freedoms.
Worst thing: Leads to income inequality, exploitation of workers, environmental degradation, and mental health issues. The risk of a few owning almost everything.
Death toll: Millions, particularly due to economic inequalities and exploitative labor practices.
Future: Likely to remain dominant, though with increasing calls for reform to address inequality, mental and environmental issues.

Christianity

Good thing: Promotes love, forgiveness, charity, and the pursuit of moral goodness.
Worst thing: Can lead to dogmatism, intolerance, repression, and conflict between different denominations.
Death toll: Millions, especially during religious wars, inquisitions, and persecution of non-believers.
Future: Will continue to be a major global religion, big influence on US politics, though increasingly challenged by secularism in some regions. Still growing in Africa.

Classism

Good thing: None inherently; however, proponents may argue that it reinforces social order and the “natural” structure of society, though this is highly controversial.
Worst thing: Perpetuates inequality, discrimination, and social divisions based on socioeconomic status, leading to limited opportunities for the lower classes.
Death toll: Indirectly contributes to social inequality and poverty, which can result in a lower quality of life and early death, particularly in marginalized communities.
Future: Likely to persist unless societal movements for equality, social justice, and economic reforms address class disparities. Increased awareness may gradually reduce its influence.

Communism

Good thing: Advocates for the abolition of class divisions and the establishment of a classless society.
Worst thing: Has historically led to authoritarian regimes, economic collapse, and massive human rights abuses.
Death toll: Tens of millions, particularly during Stalinist purges, Chinese Great Leap Forward, and other Communist regimes.
Future: Likely to persist as a critique of capitalist systems, though its practical implementations have largely failed and can be seen as “State-capitalism” or dictatorship.

Confucianism

Good thing: Emphasizes social harmony, respect for authority, and personal morality.
Worst thing: Can be used to justify authoritarianism and suppress individual freedoms.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential, particularly in East Asia.

Constructivism

Good thing: Focuses on the idea that knowledge is constructed through social interaction and experience.
Worst thing: Can lead to relativism and an overemphasis on subjective perspectives at the cost of objective truth.
Death toll: None.
Future: Likely to continue influencing education, psychology, and social theory.

Democracy

Good thing: Promotes political equality, freedom, and participation in governance.
Worst thing: Can be inefficient, prone to populism, and susceptible to the influence of money in politics.
Death toll: None directly, though flawed democratic systems have led to unrest and violence.
Future: Will continue to be a dominant political system globally, though facing increasing challenges from authoritarianism and big business.

Determinism

Good thing: Emphasizes that events are caused by prior conditions, promoting scientific understanding of cause and effect.
Worst thing: Can lead to fatalism, where individuals feel powerless to change their circumstances.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in philosophical debates, particularly around free will and ethics.

Dualism

Good thing: Emphasizes the existence of both physical and spiritual realms, allowing for a broader view of reality.
Worst thing: Can create a sharp divide between body and mind, leading to neglect of holistic understanding. Binary discussions based on belief.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Will remain influential in philosophy and religious thought.

Egalitarianism

Good thing: Advocates for equal rights, opportunities, and treatment for all individuals.
Worst thing: Can overlook merit or individual differences in an effort to achieve equality. One size fits all…not.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a key principle in human rights and social justice movements.

Environmentalism

Good thing: Advocates for the protection and preservation of the natural environment for future generations.
Worst thing: Can sometimes conflict with economic development or practical solutions to environmental problems.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Will continue to be a major focus of global policy, particularly in response to climate change.

Existentialism

Good thing: Emphasizes individual freedom, responsibility, and the search for meaning in life.
Worst thing: Can lead to despair or nihilism if individuals feel overwhelmed by the inherent absurdity of life. Feeling powerless – “the game is rigged” – depression.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue influencing philosophy, psychology, and the arts.

Fascism

Good thing: Advocates for strong leadership, national unity, and social order.
Worst thing: Leads to extreme authoritarianism, suppression of dissent, and violent repression of minorities.
Death toll: Tens of millions, particularly during World War II and the Holocaust.
Future: Likely to remain a highly controversial ideology, though sometimes resurging in authoritarian movements. Rebrands and camouflages in many seductive forms.

Feminism

Good thing: Advocates for gender equality, women’s rights, and social justice.
Worst thing: Can be perceived as extreme when it disregards male perspectives or equates all men with oppressors.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue evolving and gaining support globally, with intersectional approaches gaining prominence. Never-ending war with incels.

Feudalism

Good thing: Provided a stable social and economic structure in medieval Europe.
Worst thing: Perpetuated class divisions, serfdom, and lack of mobility.
Death toll: Millions due to wars, famines, and exploitation.
Future: Obsolete as a political system but still studied for historical insights. Today we live in a Techno-feudal age – we pay for digital space to exist in and harvest, and are taxed with datamining.

Georgism

Good thing: Advocates for a single tax on land value, promoting fairness, reducing economic inequality, and encouraging efficient land use.
Worst thing: Can be difficult to implement in practice and may face resistance from landowners and those with vested interests in maintaining the current system. Utopic.
Death toll: None directly; however, the unequal distribution of land and resources can contribute to social unrest and poverty.
Future: Could gain traction as economic inequality continues to grow, but its widespread adoption would require significant systemic changes and overcoming political opposition.

Hedonism

Good thing: Promotes the pursuit of personal pleasure and the avoidance of pain.
Worst thing: Can lead to selfishness, indulgence, and neglect of responsibilities.
Death toll: None directly, but lots of addicts and alcoholics suffer.
Future: Likely to remain a part of philosophical discussions about happiness and the meaning of life. The party becomes work – people move on to the next dopamine trigger.

Humanism

Good thing: Emphasizes the importance of human values, dignity, and reason.
Worst thing: Can sometimes be overly secular or dismissive of spiritual or religious beliefs. 
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue shaping discussions in ethics, education, and human rights. Needs rebranding, too cliche.

Individualism

Good thing: Advocates for personal freedom, autonomy, and self-expression.
Worst thing: Can lead to selfishness, disregard for community, and a lack of social responsibility and empathy.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a key tenet of liberal democracies and capitalist societies.

Islam

Good thing: Promotes peace, charity, and devotion to God.
Worst thing: Can be misinterpreted or used as a tool for authoritarian control, leading to violence and intolerance.
Death toll: Tens of millions, particularly in violent conflicts and persecution.
Future: Likely to remain a dominant global religion with a growing influence, particularly in the Middle East and parts of Asia.

Judaism

Good thing: Emphasizes justice, community, and the pursuit of knowledge.
Worst thing: It can sometimes be exclusive, leading to isolation from other groups.
Death toll: Millions, particularly during the Holocaust and ongoing conflicts in the Middle East.
Future: Will continue to be a major religious force, particularly in Israel and Jewish communities worldwide. Super influential.

Liberalism

Good thing: Promotes individual freedoms, equality, and democratic governance.
Worst thing: Can sometimes overlook economic inequality and social justice concerns in favor of market-driven solutions. Trickle-down effect non-existent, lacks empathy, fosters mental health issues. Offers the most lucrative solutions, not the holistically best solutions.
Death toll: None directly, though liberal regimes have been involved in colonialism and exploitation.
Future: Powerful, likely to continue shaping political and social systems in the West, though facing minor challenges from alternative models, but the market will absorb everything.

Libertarianism

Good thing: Advocates for maximum individual freedom and limited government intervention.
Worst thing: Can lead to neglect of social safety nets and inequalities, particularly in health and education. Mad Max.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in political discourse, especially in the United States.

Materialism

Good thing: Focuses on the tangible aspects of life and the material world, emphasizing practical outcomes.
Worst thing: Can lead to consumerism, greed, and neglect of spiritual or intellectual pursuits. Mental health issues.
Death toll: None directly, but lots of suicide and shortened life spans.
Future: Likely to persist in capitalist societies, though increasingly criticized in the context of environmental and social concerns – the critique will be absorbed and integrated for even better products.

Metamodernism

Best:
Gives a generation permission to hope again without feeling stupid. Balances skepticism with a hunger for meaning. Makes art, politics, and personal identity more playful, flexible, and self-aware.

Worst:
Turns into a fashionable pose: performative sincerity, weaponized vulnerability, and endless “both-sidesism” where no real stance is ever taken. Risk of emotional exhaustion from constant oscillation.

Death Toll:
Indirect. Leads to paralysis by complexity: fewer revolutions, more depressive scrolling. A slow leak of momentum rather than dramatic explosions.

Future:
Likely to mutate into “hyperfluidism”—where identities, truths, and aesthetics are endlessly mixed, streamed, and recycled at such speed that coherence itself becomes retro. Alternatively, might stabilize into a new pragmatic idealism, if it survives irony fatigue.

Monarchism

Good thing: Can provide stability and continuity through hereditary leadership.
Worst thing: Can lead to oppression, lack of political freedoms, and the entrenchment of inequality. A non-democratic casino of genetics.
Death toll: Varies by regime, with notable cases in historical monarchies.
Future: Likely to remain a niche political system, though some monarchies persist in the Middle East and Europe. A lobby for the old elite, and a tourist attraction seen from the outside.

Mysticism

Good thing: Emphasizes a deep, personal connection with the divine or spiritual world.
Worst thing: Can lead to escapism and neglect of practical concerns.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in spiritual and philosophical discussions. Growing market for fake mysticism as identity boosters and as antidote to the hollow feelings of capitalism.

New Ageism

Good thing: Emphasizes spiritual exploration, holistic healing, and personal growth, offering people alternative paths to understanding themselves and the world around them.
Worst thing: Can encourage pseudo-science, exploitation of vulnerable individuals, and the appropriation of spiritual practices without cultural sensitivity, often leading to shallow or ungrounded solutions to complex problems. Often fake products, used as drugs by seekers.
Death toll: Indirect; the promotion of unverified healing practices or rejection of conventional medicine can lead to preventable health risks or deaths.
Future: Likely to continue as a subculture, though it may become more critical and self-aware as skepticism grows around its more extreme or unfounded claims. Could inspire science.

Nihilism

Good thing: Encourages individuals to create their own meaning and values in an otherwise meaningless world.
Worst thing: Can lead to despair, apathy, and a lack of motivation to improve the world.
Death toll: None directly, abuse.
Future: Likely to remain a philosophical position, particularly in existential and postmodern thought. Has a bad name.

Nationalism

Good thing: Fosters national pride, unity, and a sense of collective identity.
Worst thing: Can lead to xenophobia, exclusionary practices, and violent conflicts between nations. Retro.
Death toll: Millions, particularly in wars and genocides driven by nationalist ideologies.
Future: Likely to persist, particularly in response to globalization and migration, though increasingly criticized in a globalized world. Big Neo-nationalist retro movement, denying the digitized world run by brands with more money than nations.

Paganism

Good thing: Celebrates nature, the earth, and diverse deities, offering a flexible spiritual path.
Worst thing: Can be misunderstood and marginalized due to its polytheistic nature.
Death toll: None directly, media rumors of human sacrifice.
Future: Likely to persist as a spiritual path for those seeking a connection to the earth and nature-based religions. Big commercial potential as identity booster and fake healer.

Pantheism

Good thing: Sees the divine in all things, promoting respect for nature and the interconnectedness of all life.
Worst thing: Can be seen as overly abstract, making it difficult to engage with in practical terms.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a niche belief system, particularly among those with environmental or spiritual concerns. Could have a resurgence due to the rise in psychedelic use.

Patriarchy

Good thing: Historically, offered stable family structures and social roles.
Worst thing: Leads to gender inequality, oppression of women, and stifling of personal freedoms. Can foster incels.
Death toll: Millions, particularly due to gender-based violence, oppression, and systemic inequality.
Future: Likely to be challenged increasingly as gender equality movements gain traction.

Politikenism

Best:
Surburban enlightenment at its finest: values empathy, climate action, minority rights, and delayed cultural sophistication. Champions thoughtfulness, bike lanes, sensitivity and the perfect artisanal coffee.

Worst:
Tends toward moral superiority, privileged navel-gazing, and fashionably vague virtue signaling masked as activism. Feels like a lifestyle brand pretending to be a revolution, a diversion for the lost middle class, a fake alternative, always the last to any party, voyeur energy, a dollhouse/religion to keep reality away.

Death Toll:
Mostly psychological: death of nuance through well-meaning echo chambers, and a slow suffocation of radical thought under polite consensus. Isolation from reality. Moral angst and   life paralysis.

Future Point:
Politikenism will sink into an elegant irrelevance, preaching to shrinking circles of brunch liberals while the world burns.

Polytheism

Good thing: Offers a variety of gods to worship, providing flexibility in spiritual practice.
Worst thing: Can lead to fragmentation of religious practices and conflicts between different deities or cults.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain important in certain regions and among followers of indigenous religions. The mix-and-match approach fits the new age market.

Postmodernism

Good thing: Challenges traditional narratives and promotes critical thinking, diversity of perspectives, and skepticism of authority.
Worst thing: Can lead to relativism, confusion, and an inability to agree on objective truths or values. Can lead to apathy and celebration of hollow late capitalism. Only producing theories, not new realities. Stalling history, “everything done, everything is a remix”.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in arts, philosophy, and cultural studies, though increasingly criticized for undermining objective reality.

Pragmatism

Good thing: Advocates for practical solutions and decisions based on real-world consequences rather than abstract principles.
Worst thing: Can lead to a lack of commitment to ideals or ethical consistency in pursuit of immediate results. No long-term investment or vision, ad hoc.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in philosophy, politics, and policy-making.

Protestantism

Good thing: Emphasizes personal faith, individual relationship with God, and the importance of scripture.
Worst thing: Can lead to division and conflict between different Protestant denominations and other Christian sects. Boring.
Death toll: Tens of millions, especially during religious wars like the Thirty Years’ War.
Future: Likely to remain a major global religion, especially in the Americas and parts of Europe.

Racism

Good thing: None. Easy.
Worst thing: Justifies the mistreatment, segregation, and genocide of people based on race or ethnicity.
Death toll: Hundreds of millions throughout history, particularly in colonialism, slavery, and racial genocide.
Future: Ideally, it will continue to decline, though still prevalent in many regions, with efforts to challenge racism gaining strength. Classism is the new racism.

Religious Fundamentalism

Good thing: Provides a sense of certainty and community for believers.
Worst thing: Leads to dogmatism, intolerance, and violence against those who don’t share the same beliefs.
Death toll: Millions, particularly in wars and acts of terrorism linked to religious extremism.
Future: Likely to persist in areas with strong religious influence, but increasingly challenged by secularization and interfaith dialogue. Lots of hidden liberal fundamentalism.

Satanism

Good thing: Emphasizes individualism and personal empowerment. Encourages free thought and critical thinking. Promotes social justice and religious freedom.
Worst thing: Misunderstanding and stigma. Potential for isolation or extremes in some cases. Attracts unconscious types who want power.
Death toll: Modern Satanism is not linked to any significant death toll or violence, but media rumors of sacrifice persist.
Future: Likely to grow as a secular, countercultural force focused on personal empowerment and anti-dogmatism. Morphs.

Social Darwinism

Good thing: Justifies competition and the idea that the “fittest” will survive and thrive in society.
Worst thing: Used to justify inequality, eugenics, and the exploitation of vulnerable groups.
Death toll: Millions, particularly in the context of eugenics movements and genocide.
Future: Likely to remain largely discredited, but thrives camouflaged in certain conservative ideologies and tech circles.

Singularity

Good thing: Promises rapid technological advancements, potentially leading to solutions for disease, poverty, and environmental challenges.
Worst thing: Could lead to the loss of human autonomy, with AI and machines surpassing human intelligence, creating risks of uncontrollable power.
Death toll: Hypothetical, but the consequences could be catastrophic if not managed properly (e.g., loss of jobs, social instability, or unintended consequences from AI – or AI takeover).
Future: The future remains uncertain; some predict it will revolutionize humanity, while others warn of existential risks if AI becomes uncontrollable or misused. We tend to forget we programmed it….

Socialism

Good thing: Advocates for social equality, the redistribution of wealth, and access to basic services like healthcare and education.
Worst thing: Can lead to authoritarianism, lack of individual freedoms, and inefficiency in economic systems.
Death toll: Tens of millions, especially during the rise of communist regimes in the 20th century (e.g., Soviet Union, China, Cuba).
Future: Likely to continue evolving, with various forms of socialism gaining popularity in many parts of the world, especially in Europe and parts of Latin America. Needs to hit a balance with the liberal instincts without oppression.

Situationism

Good thing: Promotes creativity, spontaneity, and the idea of transforming everyday life through art and culture, encouraging freedom and challenging capitalist norms.
Worst thing: Can be seen as overly idealistic or impractical, with critics arguing that it does not offer a clear solution to systemic issues or provide a sustainable framework for change. Fingerpaint and circus.
Death toll: No direct death toll, but its ideas about disrupting the status quo could potentially cause social upheaval, leading to instability or violence in extreme cases.
Future: May have a niche influence in artistic and activist circles, but its practical implementation in the broader political or social realm seems limited. However, it could inspire further social movements focused on challenging consumer culture. One could argue that everything is a sad tivoli now anyway.

Sociobiology

Good thing: Explains human behavior through the lens of evolution, offering insight into how our biology affects our social behavior.
Worst thing: Can be misused to justify social inequality and the perpetuation of harmful stereotypes based on biological determinism. Remove individual will.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue influencing the fields of biology, psychology, and anthropology.

Stoicism

Good thing: Encourages resilience, emotional control, and the focus on what can be controlled.
Worst thing: Can lead to emotional suppression and detachment from social causes or personal connections. Lonely, Anti-social. Jordan.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in self-help, philosophy, and wellness circles.

Sufism

Good thing: Emphasizes the mystical and personal relationship with God, promoting peace, love, and spiritual growth.
Worst thing: Can be marginalized or persecuted by more orthodox religious sects.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a mystical influence within Islam, particularly in parts of the Middle East and South Asia.

Taoism

Good thing: Advocates for balance, harmony with nature, and the pursuit of simplicity and wisdom.
Worst thing: Can sometimes be too passive or fatalistic, discouraging action against injustice. A hippie excuse for lack of direction and responsibility, lazy, pretentious.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to persist as an influential philosophical and spiritual tradition, especially in East Asia, sliding into global neo-new age.

Technocracy

Good thing: Advocates for governance by experts in science and technology, aiming for rational and efficient decision-making.
Worst thing: Can lead to a disconnect from democratic processes and social considerations.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain relevant in discussions about the role of technology in governance and economics.

Totalitarianism

Good thing: Can create a unified, strong state that maintains order and control.
Worst thing: Leads to the suppression of freedom, individual rights, and opposition, often using violence and surveillance.
Death toll: Tens of millions, particularly in regimes like Nazi Germany, Stalinist Russia, and North Korea.
Future: Likely to continue to be a controversial and discredited ideology, though totalitarian movements may resurface via tech-bros and their political puppets.

Trumpism

Best:
Dragged hidden resentments, economic fears, and distrust of elites into the open. Shattered stale political conventions. Gave a voice (and memes) to people who felt invisible. Shameless white trash aesthetics – from a billionaire. Highjacking rebellious rhetoric. Turning reality into fiction into reality, making news exciting, unifying Europe.

Worst:
Normalized lying, bullying, scapegoating, narcissism, and anti-democratic tendencies. Turned public discourse into a rage-fueled reality show/wrestling. Inflamed divisions and glorified ignorance as authenticity. Fucking climate, education and gay rights up. Running USA as his own investment club, not for the people.

Death Toll:
Measured in COVID mishandling, Capitol riots, environmental deregulation, and a general erosion of trust in institutions. Also: deaths of nuance, compromise, and polite conversation.

Future:
Trumpism will linger as an aesthetic and strategy long after Trump himself fades—a blueprint for charismatic strongman populism worldwide, weaponized grievance, bullying and endless culture wars.

Transhumanism

Good thing: Advocates for the use of technology to enhance human capabilities and transcend biological limitations.
Worst thing: Can lead to ethical concerns about inequality, loss of human essence, and unchecked technological power, data mining, and AI takeover. Tends to trust a love machine over man. We talk about chip implants, but have iPhones in our hands constantly all the time.
Death toll: None directly, but casualties from biohacking home projects.
Future: Likely to grow as technology advances, especially in bioengineering and AI.

Utilitarianism

Good thing: Promotes the greatest good for the greatest number, emphasizing happiness and welfare.
Worst thing: Can justify harmful actions or inequality in the name of maximizing overall happiness.
Death toll: None directly, but the philosophy has been linked to justifying harmful policies throughout history.
Future: Likely to remain influential in ethics, particularly in decision-making and public policy.

Wokeism

Good thing: Promotes awareness of social injustices, inequalities, and systemic oppression, encouraging activism for marginalized groups and striving for social progress and inclusion.
Worst thing: Can lead to oversensitivity, cancel culture, and a focus on performative allyship rather than real systemic change, sometimes creating division instead of unity.
Death toll: None directly; however, the polarization it can create might contribute to societal tensions or cultural conflicts, potentially diverting attention from more pressing issues, isolation and loneliness.
Future: Despite heavy critique and morphing into parody, it is likely to remain influential in shaping discourse around social justice and equality, though it may evolve or be moderated as people seek more balanced, nuanced approaches to social change.

Žižekism

Best:
A dazzling cocktail of Marxism, psychoanalysis, and pop culture. Forces you to rethink ideology by turning everything inside out, usually while making you laugh. Reminds us that true radicality often hides in the absurd. Keep you on your toes.

Worst:
Endless detours and intellectual trolling. Heavy on red herrings and provocation, light on solutions. Sometimes hard to tell whether you’re being enlightened or just entertained into confusion. Atract pretentious prats. Hard to ignore the master’s dripping nose. Maybe a distraction from real alternatives.

Death Toll:
Minimal in direct terms—but measurable in time lost trying to decode five-hour lectures about toilets, Hitchcock, and Hegel.

Future Point:
Žižekism may evolve into a permanent style of critical thought: weaponized paradox, memes-as-theory, and high-speed irony loops. Likely to survive as long as there are conferences, cocktails, and contradictions. The Dylan of theory-fandom?

Zoroastrianism

Good thing: Advocates for the fight between good and evil, emphasizing the importance of righteousness, truth, and charity.
Worst thing: Can be marginalized due to its relatively small following and competition with larger religions.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a minor but historically significant religion, influencing other faiths, particularly in Iran and parts of India.

BY PETER SMITH

To be regularly updated…please feel free to criticize and suggest new -isms.

GUIDE: an ever-growing incomplete A-Z of sex?

The post A bluffers guide to ideology / A-Z of isms appeared first on BLAZAR.

Øvelse: Prøv at tale om noget du IKKE taster eller søger på: pludselig popper der reklamer og indhold op – det er tydeligt der lyttes med. Dine medie-feeds bliver mere og mere militariserede og efterlader dig i angst, så reklamerne virker bedre.

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• Tag backup af dine billeder lokalt: Skyen er praktisk, men dine data er ikke nødvendigvis sikre der. Overvej at gemme på en ekstern harddisk.

2. Beskedapps: Privatliv frem for bekvemmelighed

• Slet Messenger: Facebooks Messenger-app indsamler store mængder data. De fleste vil ikke savne den. 
• Skift fra WhatsApp til Signal: Signal tilbyder fuld end-to-end-kryptering som standard og indsamler minimal brugerdata, hvilket gør det til et stærkt valg for dem, der prioriterer privatliv. Telegram tilbyder også kryptering, men det er ikke aktiveret som standard i alle chats, og platformen indsamler mere brugerdata sammenlignet med Signal. Men glem at være hemmelig her, alle tjenester er blevet hacket af myndighederne.

3. Sociale medier: Er det tid til at forlade de store platforme efter tech-bro-eliten er gået Andrew Tate?

• Facebook: Overvej at minimere din brug eller skifte til Mastodon, et decentraliseret alternativ.
• Instagram: Pixelfed tilbyder en lignende oplevelse, men mangler endnu et stort bruger grundlag.
• X (tidligere Twitter): Bluesky er en lovende erstatning, men kræver en aktiv brugerbase for at blomstre og er baseret på investorpenge – og ender med algoritmer og annoncer, når investors skal have dem igen. Mastodon er bedre end bluesky og har netop erklæret de kører non-profit.

4. Søgemaskiner og browsere: Slip af med Google

• Skift Google ud: Ecosia påstår at plante træer ved hver søgning, hvilket gør den til et miljøvenligt alternativ. Ellers Duckduckgo.com eller Qwant.com, der er EU baseret.
• Brug Firefox i stedet for Chrome: Firefox giver bedre privatliv og færre sporings-mekanismer.
• Overvej at skifte Gmail ud: ProtonMail, tutanota.com og Zoho er sikrere alternativer til Gmail.

5. Online shopping: Drop Amazon

• Undgå Amazon: Amazon dominerer online-handel, men deres praksis er kontroversiel. Desværre ejer de også IMDB, og der findes endnu ikke et stort alternativ.

6. TikTok og alternative medieplatforme

• TikTok har ændret sig: Der er sket uofficielle ændringer i platformens ledelse, og flere brugere er skiftet til RedNote. Dog kan denne tjeneste være problematisk pga. Kinesisk ejerskab.

7. Hvad med Apple, Officepakken og Starlink? 

• Nyeste Apple-opdatering inkluderer Starlink: Dette betyder mulig overvågning via Elon Musks netværk. Funktionen er i første omgang begrænset til T-Mobile-brugere i USA med planer om at udvide til opkald og international brug.
• Overvej Linux! Det er opensource og f.eks. UBUNTU er nu så simpelt at installere og bruge, at man ligeså godt kan gå den vej. Det virker iøvrigt også på gamle maskiner, som apple og MS ikke længere understøtter.
• Skift OFFICEPAKKEN ud med libreoffice – gratis og kan det samme -uden tracking og ai-tvang.

Den nemme vej ud

Smid din iPhone og Android ud! Få en dumphone der kan bruges som hotspot til din computer – ELLER køb en Volla – en lækker tysk overvågningsfri Android.

Chat og sms er som at bolle gennem et nøglehul, så drop din smartphone. Få en gammel Nokia og begynd at tale med folk, lyt til hvad der foregår omkring dig i stedet for at tæppebombe hjernen med podcasts. Kig dig omkring i stedet for at doom-scrolle. Læs en bog, mød folk. 

Saml dine digitale online aktiviteter så du laver det samlet – f.eks svarer du KUN mails om morgenen – og en time om eftermiddagen. 

Overvej Tor. Overvej et nyt digitalt liv baseret på en fake profil, der ikke er knyttet til dig via bank, gps osv.

Kig på de kriminelle. Hvis de mødes, er det ude i en skov, hvor de ligger i en ring med hovedet nede i græsset med hænderne for munden. 

Tænk på hvor meget tid du vinder, hvis du dropper SoMe…

Konklusion: Dit digitale valg betyder noget

Sociale medier og digitale tjenester fungerer kun, hvis vi er online og aktive. Hvis vi ikke er tilfredse med de eksisterende platforme, kan vi træffe valg, der minimerer vores afhængighed af dem, ved at skifte til mere private og brugervenlige alternativer kan vi måske genvinde kontrol over vores (digitale) liv.

Tak til Anders Kjærulff – Denne guide opdateres løbende: hvis du har bedre ideer eller rettelser så skriv her:

[contact-form]

The post TID TIL NYE DIGITALE VANER appeared first on BLAZAR.

Lær og grin: her er den moderne Emma Gad: jeg har her samlet et udvalg af mine manualer til alt fra døden til faderskab, fra pizza til stoffer og synths…værsgo:

TEST: hvem råber du i kor med?

GUIDE til sikre samtaler og bedre debatklima

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GUIDE: partiernes tøj, musik og rusmiddelvalg.

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GUIDE: an ever-growing incomplete A-Z of sex?

Fest-Guide: Lobby-marked på Djøfstortion

GUIDE: TISVILDE

IKEA – og kunsten at overleve

9 essentielle looks

The post VAMMENS GUIDES: MANUALER TIL LIVET appeared first on BLAZAR.

Whether you’re strolling the canals or biking through neighborhoods filled with the most stylish/happy & beautiful locals, Copenhagen’s ice cream culture is the cherry on top of your Nordic gourmet adventure. Forget “The Bear” and pastry hunting; here’s your essential guide – from historic parlors to exotic vegan pioneers. Here’s a snapshot of the current state of our vibrant ice cream scene:

1. Siciliansk Is (Vesterbro & Nørrebro) MY FAVORITE!

Address: Skydebanegade 3, 1709 København V and Rantzausgade 56, 2200 København N

Hours: Daily 12:00–21:00 (seasonal)

Highlights: Authentic Sicilian gelato made from organic ingredients

Top Picks: Pistachio di Bronte, Ricotta & Pear, Blood Orange Sorbet

2. Isoteket (Multiple locations) (THE AVANTGARDE MASHUP)

Address: Main shop – Stefansgade 15, 2200 København N

Hours: Daily 12:00–22:00

Highlights: Inventive gelato flavors with bold pairings.

Top Picks: Hazelnut & Bergamot, Coffee & Lemongrass, Blackberry & Lime

3.  La Glace (City Center) (THE HEAVY SHIT)

Address: Skoubogade 3, 1158 København K

Hours: Mon–Sat: 08:30–18:00 (closed Sundays in summer)

Highlights: Classic Danish ice cream in historical setting – get there early, tourists cue up fast.

Top Picks: Vanilla with Whipped Cream, Rhubarb Sorbet, Nougat Ice Cake

COPENHAGENS SECRET SOUNDTRACK

4. Østerberg Ice Cream (Tullinsgade)

Address: Tullinsgade 25, 1618 København V

Hours: Daily 12:00–18:00

Highlights: Exotic flavor innovation in cozy Vesterbro shop.

Top Picks: Sea Buckthorn Sorbet, Licorice Ice Cream, Mango & Passion Fruit

5. Ismageriet (Amager, Søborg, Kødbyen)

Address: Kongelundsvej 116, 2300 København S (Flagship)

Hours: Daily 11:30–21:30

Highlights: One of Copenhagen’s most beloved ice cream institutions, known for its ultra-creamy texture and creative but approachable flavors. Everything is made fresh in-house daily in small batches. Nice big cafe in Kødbyen, perfect after a hot summer night dancing.

Top Picks: Ferrero Rocher Gelato, Salted Pistachio, Strawberry Sorbet with Licorice Swirl.

The rest of the quality pack, in no particular order:

Peter Beier Chokolade (Multiple Locations in Copenhagen)
Address: Store Kongensgade 3, 1264 København K; Falkoner Allé 43, 2000 Frederiksberg; Terminal 2, Copenhagen Airport, 2770 Kastrup

Hours: Mon–Sun: 10:00–18:00 (hours may vary by location)

Highlights: Peter Beier Chokolade is renowned for its handcrafted chocolates made from cocoa beans sourced from their own plantation in the Dominican Republic. Their cafés offer a luxurious experience combining chocolate, ice cream, and various delicacies.

Top Picks: White Chocolate Ice Cream with Crispy Pearls and Orange Zest, Strawberry Sorbet,Chocolate Ice Cream with Homemade Brownie Chunks…

 Alice Ice Cream & Coffee (Amagerbro)

Address: Markmandsgade 1, 2300 København S

Hours: Mon–Fri 08:00–17:00; Sat–Sun 09:00–17:00

Highlights: Small-batch, high-quality creations.

Top Picks: Salted Caramel with Dark Chocolate, Buttermilk & Blueberry, Coffee Bar Ice Cream

Østerberg Ice Cream (Østerbro & Vesterbro)

Addresses: Rosenvængets Allé 7C, 2100 København Ø & Tullinsgade 25, 1618 København V

Hours: Daily 12:00–18:00

Highlights: Scientific method meets exotic and Nordic fruit.

Top Picks: Dragon Fruit, Yuzu, Mango & Passion Fruit

Nicecream (Nørrebro, Vesterbro, Østerbro, Frederiksberg)

Address: Elmegade 30, 2200 København N

Hours: Daily 12:00–20:00

Highlights: 100% vegan, coconut-based and indulgent.

Top Picks: Peanut Butter Fudge, Cookie Dough Dream, Mint Choc Chip

ISTID (Nørrebro)

Address: Jægersborggade 13, 2200 København N

Hours: Mar–Sept: Daily 12:00–21:00

Highlights: Ice cream made with liquid nitrogen.

Top Picks: Salted Caramel, Stracciatella, Rhubarb Swirl with Oat Crumble

Olufs Is (Østerbro)

Address: Olufsvej 6, 2100 København Ø

Hours: Mon–Fri 13:00–18:00; Sat–Sun 12:00–18:00

Highlights: Gourmet popsicles dipped in chocolate.

Top Picks: Mango Sorbet with Dark Chocolate, Vanilla Pistachio Pop, Licorice Lemon-Chocolate Pop

Aurora Ismejeri (Vesterbro)

Address: Flaskehalsen 11, 1799 København V

Hours: Mon–Thu 08:00–17:00; Fri 08:00–20:00; Sat–Sun 09:00–evening

Highlights: From the creators of Alice – bold, buttery, and Nordic.

Top Picks: Sea Buckthorn Sorbet, Brown Butter Caramel, Licorice Ice Cream

Kødbyens Is (Vesterbro)

Address: Flæsketorvet 43, 1711 København V

Hours: Daily in summer (check Instagram off-season)

Highlights: Organic and unafraid of odd combos.

Top Picks: Peanut Crunch, Dill & Coconut Sorbet, Chive & Hazelnut Gelato

Frederiksberg Chokolade (Frederiksberg)

Address: Frederiksberg Allé 64, 1820 Frederiksberg

Hours: Mon–Fri 10:00–18:00; Sat 10:00–15:00

Highlights: Historic chocolatier now crafting bold ice cream.

Top Picks: Apple Pie Ice Cream, Beer Ice Cream, Chocolate-Dipped Cones

Anker Chokolade (Vesterbro)

Address: Godsbanegade 17, 1722 København V

Hours: Mon–Sat 10:00–18:00; Sun 11:00–16:00

Highlights: Michelin-level chocolates and seasonal ice creams.

Top Picks: Apple & Brown Butter Ice Cream, Chocolate with Passion Fruit & Licorice, Flødeboller with Marzipan Base

ENJOY!

COPENHAGENS SECRET SOUNDTRACK

The post The Ultimate Ice Cream Guide to Copenhagen/13 Must-Try Ice Cream Shops & 39 Signature Flavors appeared first on BLAZAR.

Der er et overflødighedshorn af nye blinkende natklubber, optimerede klassikere og små hemmelige oaser – nogle er drevet af kapitalfonde, andre bemandet af passionerede ejere bag baren, der har overlevet på minimale hjælpepakker… eller helt uden. Der er kamp om især instagrambørnene, fodboldspillerne og raverne nu – så generelt er tricket at komme tidligt og registre sig via NYX eller mail – eller booke bord i god tid hvis det er et af de mere fesne steder du vil frekventere – før du alligevel lander på legendariske Cafe Malmø eller falder i søvn i et badekar på Sanders eller med en pizza  ned af maven på en bænk nær Gothersgade. 

Nedenfor har jeg talt med klubkongerne – fra de folkelige til de elitære – og klippet din guide til stationære Københavnske klubber (ikke events, undergrunds-one-offs, festivaler og pop-ups) sammen her:

VED SIDEN AF: Københavns eget mini-Berghein er tilbage trods manglende hjælpepakker…der er stadig darkroom og der er udvidet med endnu et nyt darkroom endnu dybere inde på klubben -og nyt barkort med bl.a. naturvin på fad. Musikprofil: Techno, house, trance og måske lidt basmusik – det er ved at være på tide det kommer igen. Jeg gætter på der bliver spillet hurtig lidt trancet acid techno.

Målgruppe: 21-35år Kvinde/Mand/Non-Binær Åbningstider: 00-open end. Dresskode: Så lidt som du er komfortabel med – det bliver varmt!! Bordreservation: Bordreservation bruger vi ikke, da vi ikke har nogle borde, men du kan være heldig at komme ind hvis du kan sweettalke vores door selector.  MERE OM VED SIDEN AF HERDorsia – opkaldt efter den restaurant Patrick Bateman kæmper for at få bord på..Frederik Holmsteen guider mig igennem et univers der får mig til at føle mig antik – jeg citerer: Dorsia er indrettet i japansk-skandinaviske minimalistisk stil med værtinder i farverige dragter, der udstråler fart & neon.  Konceptet er at have fokus på de generationer, der aldrig har været på natklub før – dem på 18-23 – der skal ud og feste hver weekend. Dorsia vil skabe nogle happenings til den instagram-influencer generation der altid er på udkig efter noget ekstraordinært at filme, poste, og dele –  gimmicks og happenings som netop udfylder dette behov – Dorsia er en natklub, hvor det digitale menneske kan booste deres image og selvopfattelse. Lyssystemet skaber nye spændende farvekombinationer, der afspejler de trends vi ser indenfor fashion, design, medie og kunst der fanger den unge influencer-tiktok generation på et splitsekund, og får dem til at tænke; “Det der, må jeg bare filme”. Målgruppen kan også beskrives som gymnasie-elever og universitetsstuderende,  influencere, og realityfolk. Musikprofil: Early; Sing-along lounge, urban. Peak; Deep-house, ny-remixet Party. Late; Ny-generation (tiktok, soundcloud) singalong remix, intense EDM. Åbningslyd: Aguella – Sllash & Doppe. (Early) / Sthlm Sunset – Ehrling. (Early) / Kiss Me More (feat. SZA) / Doja Cat, SZA – (Remixet). (Peak) /Levitating (feat. DaBaby) / Dua Lipa, DaBaby – (Remixet). (Peak)/ Friday (feat. Mufasa & Hypeman) – Dopamine Remix / Riton, Nightcrawlers, Mufasa & Hypeman, Dopamine. (Peak) Se Dorsias video her  Dresskode: Torsdagen er stilet casual, da den henvender sig til gymnasie-eleverne.  Fredag indebærer, at dresscode som minimum er stilet casual/business casual. Lørdag er dresscode business formal. LINK  Bordreservation: Lucas Enzo: 42 37 54 94

H9: Vesterbros velbevarede uprætentiøse hemmelighed H9 har formået at holde festen kørende HVER DAG fra kl 17 (!) igennem corona-nedturen, så de har investeret i et ordenligt  lydanlæg i et flot nyt rum – H9 After Dark – i forlængelse af byens hyggeligste opvarmede gårdhave. DJ-programmet spænder fra ANGEBOT, Asle, Budda til Dan Rachlin… start tidligt i gårdhaven og varm op til dansen der starter kl. 23.00. Book bord til gårdhaven på 31319999. Læs mere herSLM er en s/m fetishklub for mænd der tænder på læder, gummi, uniformer etc. & holder til i et baghus i en kælder i Lavendelstræde. Check deres fantastiske hjemmeside her

11 – Patrick Peitzsch sat et hold i bedste PSG stil  og allieret sig med b.la Alexander Zobel, Nicky Andersen & Richard Aller, der blæser nyt liv i de ny-stylede højoftede lokaler der før hed KB3…drømmeholdet udtaler: Vi vil give folk en excentrisk, storslået oplevelse. Det bliver råt og farligt men samtidig lækkert og mindeværdigt – vi vil skabe en rowdy og vild fri fest. Du behøver ikke være kendt eller rig for at klare dig forbi vores picker, men et smil på læben og et åbent og positivt sind er et must….og så må man da også gerne gøre lidt ud af sig selv, har det nogensinde skadet?  “Højt til loftet og ingen i seng før fem!”  11 er vist det første sted hvor man kan bestille bord, danse på det og sprøjte med champagne i Kødbyen – galskaben starter  kl. 23.  Læs mere her BREMEN kører traditionen tro videre i weekenden mellem 23-04 med mixmester Mathias Mesteño, der spiller ekstremt eklektisk: Rap, soul, House, disco, no wave, brazil, afro og meget mere. Der er hverken flaskeborde, VIP eller entre…det er ren fest. Læs mere herSø aka Søpavillonen – endelig fandt det smukke trylleslot sin rette funktion i København – Simon & Simon har fået blus under spisestedet Babylon – nu også i dagtimerne – og der naturligvis ild i natklubben. Kom tidligt for at undgå kø – eller spis der først…det virker hver gang. Book bord herCulture Box: Tim Andresen skriver: klassiske Culture Box har fået et spritnyt L’Acoustics lydsystem i Red Box og et forbedret Black Box med nedsænket loft og nyt gulv og ny ventilation og AC – plus en ny bar. Der er strammet yderligere op på alt der vedrører vores attitude code for safer space. Boxen kører naturligvis stadig elektronisk musik med et stærkt fokus på dansegulvet – ingen bordkunde tamtam – det udspiller sig  20-08 i åbningsdagene og ellers typisk fra 22-08. Mere info her
Museo: Smukke Dolores – før Sundays – er genfødt som Museo  i den nybagte gågade bag Magasin, der er blevet et herligt minefelt af udendørsservering. Vinylmesteren Visti og hans smukke viv Puk fortsætter sekunderet af et nyt hold bestående af Stephen Shine, Jonas Mørkeberg, Remee, Anthon Louis & Sean sekunderet af Morten “dating.dk” Wagner og playboyadvokaten Jackie Phillip. Døren kunne snildt gå hen og blive hektisk så søg om medlemsskab her: www.museoclub.com PS. Visti & Puks labre feinsmækkerbar Gespenst kører heldigvis videre i stueetagen.Never Mind er en afslappet natklub for homoseksuelle uden dresscode, med rygning tilladt og personale, som taler flere sprog tæt på Ørstedsparken – mere info herDANDY:  Rene Sliwa: Rekoms perle er et farverigt sammensurium af en sublim cocktail-bar, maximalistisk lounge og natklub – stedet er egnet til pre-dinner drinks, sene timer på dansegulvet fra 22-04 og alt hvad der ligger derimellem. Der er proppet med opboppede damer og byens bedste dørmand har styr på alt. Stilen er 1960’ernes Hollywood, Miami og Cannes – måske kigger Kim Thurmann & Martin Nick forbi – der er ikke dresskode og du kan booke bord på 31737304 eller læse mere HERTYROLIA  er tilbage med nye bordshows, endnu mere gennemført tema ogl lyden af mainstream ungdomsmusik krydret med de bedste hits fra Alperne, f.eks Lu lu lu Lukas Podolski, Hey baby, Sex on fire & Fugle. Målgruppen er 18-23. RESERVER HER  ARCH har skiftet stil  og pumper med dyre bookings a la Guy Gerber og Seth Troxler…det tyder på at ARCH har fyret bongotrommerne og saxofonen og skiftet profil og promotere – de er røget til Museo – fortsættelse følger…info her

Derudover gætter vi på følgende klubber kommer i spil igen: spillestedet Rust, Lola Club, diverse Joelene, rå Bakken, Cafe Victors nabo Lusso, Sigurdsgade, Hotel Cecil, Chateau motel, Bølgen, Kaj, Bolchefabrikken, Bestyrelse Nord, Singles  – Level er stadig under ombygning og Rumours åbner måske under det legendariske navn diskotek IN….og Pangea – den gamle skovskiderskole – er pt. lukket som natklub – nordsjælland søger til indre by. 

Vi under os over manglen på faste klubber med super populære genrer som rock, reggae, country, indie, Grime og den forkætrede forstadstrance – og noget for det grå guld over 40…?  Mangler dit sted i denne guide? Mail os her tak

FILM: ØJET I NATTEN + fraklip – se her nu!

The post GUIDE: Københavnske Natklubber appeared first on BLAZAR.

Du savner måske tiden før corona, hvor du var en funky hedonistisk sammenkobler, der pendlede mellem Michelin-middage, møder og festivitas globalt – idag ses du som et uøkologisk krænkende fortidslevn, en paria, en semi-succesion-idiot. Din position er privilegie-blind og ude af sync med tidsånden- dit jet-set livssyn udskammes som overfladisk og usolidarisk, så her er en guide til at fremprovokere tidens cool modedepression – det virkede for mig – efter få dage på kuren kontaktede jeg en læge –  her er braset du skal doomscrolle, der fremkalder den helt mørke tidsånd – så du slipper for at tænke på de helt nære problemer og kan hyle med koret:Sport: prøv Tour de France: nej det er ikke intellektuelt, det er et sponsoreret cyklende fixerum, en menneskefjendsk cirkulær afstumpet gladiatorkamp mellem lycra-robotter smurt ind i logoer på det nyeste ikke-målbare techno-knark. Touren er en deprimende metafor for livet, arbejdsmarkedet eller bare som generelt tidstegn – og hvorfor er det så liderligt at råbe af mænd med store lår?Bolig: indret asketisk med skandinaviske jordfarver, skab et mix af modeboutique og klassisk hjemmekontor med træfugle, døde farvede blomster og stearin med subtile religiøse temaer, sæt spritdispensere op, gør rent til du kan spise sushi af gulvet – eller udføre en operation, men husk at fjerne prisskiltene i dit showroom før du instagrammer. Alternativt – få greenscreen så du kan gemme bunkerne af designertøj når du er på zoom. Lav en boligblog, eller gå hele vejen og få lavet en bunker i baghaven eller et saferoom.

Mad: drop skyldfuld nydelse, bare spis alt det der er på nemlig.dk der står light på, helst fra Nestle, de holder verden stabil, hvilket også er deprimerende. Alternativt kan du hænge ud i gastrosexuelle cirkler, deres evindelige sludr om smagsnuancer vil garanteret dræbe din sidste rest af håb for menneskeracen.

Venner: du bliver hvad du spiser, du bliver som dem du hænger ud med – vis mig dine 5 tætteste og jeg skal fortælle dig hvem du er. Find venner der ikke er interesserede i dig, men i dit netværk. Find venner der fastholder dig i en helt uvirkelig rolle, venner der har uløselige problemer og derfor kræver uendelig omsorg, venner med misbrug, snobber og positionsspillere. Find et neurosefælleskab og fasthold hinanden i det er ok. Nyheder: dyrk hajer i Øresund, ulve i Jylland, bombefly over skandinavien, friske virus-tal, nedskærninger, racevold, kendtes kollaps – bare start fra du vågner, sæt  pushbeskeder fra nyhedssites til og stress over historier uden ende eller konklusion til du falder i søvn med det i ørerne. Begynd også at tal om nyhederne med dine nærmeste, det er en sikker omvendt humørspreder og konfliktkilde. Angst clicker bedre end liderlighed, værsgo.

Konspiritualister: enhver kritik kan stoppes med et skvæt vrøvl – så dyk ned i YouTubes kaninkrater og find sammenhængen mellem Ukraine, 5G stråler, krystalhealing, Steve Bannon, JFK21, biologiske våben, numerologi, kinesisk agression, anti-vaccine, veganermad, klimaangst-løgnen, BLM-svindel, pædofili, #metoo, Q-Anon, Cancel culture, PC-nazisme, satanisme, Illuminati, new age, frimureri, Trump og Ufoer – skidt og kanel mellem hinanden der ekskluderer dig fra voksenbordet og demonterer de virkelig vigtige debatter og miskrediterer de vigtige afsløringer af magten…det er blevet en lukrativt erhverv at lave fake oppositions clickbait  – og metoderne og indholdet er ved at glide ind i de gamle medier ligesom “En skør skør verden”  — det optrapper den “del & hersk” / “all is fake news” -informationskrig, der garanterer skizoid viljeløs isolation, der kan gøre hippier til nazister og vise versa.  Lad være at fakta-checke, bare mærk sammenhængen gennem plumperne. Husk paranoide altid er et skridt foran.
Alarmisterne: følg frelste selvudnævnte eksperter og livsstilsguruer, der prædker at jorden er giftig – udskam de vulgært rige – og dem der ikke har råd til økologi. Alt skal være helt helt rent. Skam dig over dit gamle liv. Husk tarmskylning. Skam dig igen bagefter.Nostalgi: glem fremtids-guleroden. Alt var måske meget bedre i gamle dage, men fortiden kommer aldrig tilbage, så skynd dig ud på det (virtuelle) loppemarked, dyrk dine bedsteforældres dyder og litteratur, top den med at begynde at samle på noget dødt man kan få komplet relativt nemt, f.eks krænkelses-slik, opgrader til den komplette samling med Billy Elish eller Dylan på vinyl bagefter, læs bøger alle er enige om er kanoniserede mesterværker, trap op efter behov, for det kan føles rart med en komplet kontrolleret allerede drøvtygget verden. Nej, det har ikke noget med pottetræning at gøre. Måske er Morten Messerschmith inde på noget med sit retro-konservative trip.Krænkelses-arkeologi: bliv ekspert i noget rædselsfuldt fra fortiden og blog om det på din iPhone, lavet af kinesiske slaver. Udgrav din egen histories nederlag – pisk minder om mobning eller genbesøg en sløj julefrokost. Ring alle de piger M/K op der ikke ringede tilbage – og svin dem til i en podcast om at bruge andres kroppe. Lav en statue for de over 30 millioner russere der døde i kampen mod nazismen, eller piv over der er svine-gelatine i vingummier i solidaritet med visse religioner. Men undgå for alt i verden at være krænket over noget nutidigt der kan ændres. Bare husk at kende din plads – og være stille så de ægte krænkede råber deres slogans. Mediebrug – tommelfingerreglen er at bruge mere tid på skærmen end på verden rundt om skærmen – depressions-effekten kan optimeres hvis du begynder at dyrke følgende:

Berlingske: læs om slet skjult racisme, småborgerlige kristne værdier og mormor-retro underlagt ledemotivet om den stærkes ukrænkelige ret til uendelig vækst, der måske drypper ned på taberne. Dyrk skingre bloggere der søger negativ bekræftelse gennem ledige standpunkter lavet til let hyggekrænkelse – der var en artikel der udskammede mænd i shorts forleden…og dyk ned i store artikler der reelt er reklamer for tunge interessegrupper – det boligtillæg sælger ikke sig selv vel?

BT: har overtaget dødsboet fra 24syg og har en  paparazzi-podcast der er perfekt ufrivillig satire om druk, empati-mangel, snobberi og mangel på pli, der trækker menneskehedens værste sider frem – komplet med plastik-kirugi-sponsor og hån af psykisk syge. Et nyt greb at tage tabloid-ofre med ind som eksperter som en slags Stockholm-syndrom gidsler. En perfekt kilde til social angst, ondt i røven, paranoia og legitimering af social amoral.Generation X: efter mange årtiers stil-krige og æstetiske oprør sidder Gen-x nu i førerbunkeren – men hvad var det mystiske X drømte om i virkeligheden? At spille petanque live på en bane i legofarver af flinke Fos mens Jørgen Leth lægger kommentarspor? Søde Jørgen er interessant, da han er blevet en rollemodel for mænd i mediebranchen: han ses som et omvandrende værk der insisterer på at være menneske, der lever luxuriøst, hans job bare er at ankomme med Gunbritt dirigent-hår og få langsomme banaliteter i egen juice til at lyde dybe med sin faderlige røst: Leth er den ultimative helt for “generation flaneur”. Succesen bunder vel i at det er nemmere at have en para-social interaktion med et luftigt ikon som Jørgen end at vedligeholde en ægte relation med sin biologiske konkrete far, da man ikke kan slukke for far. Fortræng hans kvindesyn som alle andre, namedrop for max signalværdi og lad dig lulle med af hans uendelige godnathistorier.Spotify: glem goth, The Cure, Niels Ung, Japansk noise eller Soy Division – bare start en kæk spotify-playliste af generisk moderne pop eller sikre hits fra 1970-2020, så ved du der ikke sker noget nyt i hjernen.

Netflix & Co – bingewatch en serie baseret på datamining af din målgruppes preferencer proppet med produktplaceringer, der altid har en mekanisk cliffhanger der får dig til at klø efter næste uforløste afsnit til du ikke kan skille søvn og serie ad. Jeg undres over hvor mennesker finder tiden til det misbrug? Igen, erstat meta med virkelige relationer. Netflix er en uendelig hane af depression. Hvis du virkelig savner Grand så meget så start med “I’m Thinking of Ending this” eller “Astroid City”.

DR er virkelig trådt i karakter som statens kristne propaganda-kanal. Ingen kritik, kun konfliktofile setups med forudsigelige fronter, tordenskjolds soldater og en kulturdækning, der reelt er quiz, reality og hygge for folk og holdninger der peakede senest i 2000. Kulturen reducereres til en finurlig snobbet identitetsmarkør lavet for/af boomere ved Lyngbyvejen eller nogen der stræber efter deres huse. Kulturen er blot et finurligt gratis råstof der skal sikre værternes kan producere konstant som babyer der æder rosiner på potten. DR er altid god for en reminder om ikke at gå til live kulturarrangementer mere. Ren sølvhjelm på downers.

PODCASTS Selvom vi sjældent har haft færre drab i Danmark svælger true crime i udpensling af parteringer og voldtægt – genret er ren snuff. Ellers prøv en sundhedspodcast om perfekt fordøjelse og udødelighed – eller en serie med x-ravere der tørsniffer mens de kloger sig om nattelivet i 90erne.

Humor Der var engang satire handlede om andet end selvpromoverende standuppere der sulter efter Zulu lukkede, der padlede rundt på barberbladet i mellem woke og far-jokes og pruttede som et barn tvangsfodret med svesker. Nu har alvoren lagt sig over landet, så nu har vi Enhedslistens 28 min med Jonathan Spangs team på DR2 periodisk – og så noget afkom fra 24syv, der laver en parodi på den type radio – sludreradio – der overtog 24syvs statstilskud. Problemet er det er et spejl der kigger ind i et spejl – og ender med at parodiere ulidelige mennesker vi ikke engang kender men tror findes i udkantsdanmark – gid det handlede om noget andet end provins-bashing – det er dog ok som indsovnings-podcast – personligt foretrækker jeg optagelser af Vesterhavets bølger, men de virker vanddrivende på en del, så du kan også prøve “Casper ringer til Frank” – måske om hvordan maskerne har overtaget personlighederne. Ellers prøv noget sponsor-spækket parodi på et “interview” fra Euroman, eller Politikens poptillæg der er fyldt med vigtige tips til fake følsomhed, politisk korrekt litteratur fra store forlag, blid indie, skamløs mode og hvornår du igen kan gå med DM´s eller trenchcoat – det er ufrivilligt morsomt og burde sponsoreres af Bierkenstock. Eller hør en af de utallige slet skjult neoliberale selvoptimeringspodcasts – dødsangst er stort.

Livsstilsjournalistik: forleden læste jeg en “insider Københavnerguide” på et blogmedie – via Egmont…der var en slags Emma Gad om hvordan man f.eks skulle smørre sit brød. Det viste sig senere det var planket fra en New York blogger. Det resulterede så i en større meget vigtig meta-meta shitstorm, igen en perfekt tidsrøver – endnu et hit fra generations lattergas, som om trap, dancehall og ritualet med at ligge i kø og vente på vigtige sneakers ikke var deprimerende nok.

Tommelfingerreglerne er altid at erstatte virkeligheden med skærm og aldrig være mæt eller tilfreds – hvis du har en Yacht vil du have en privatjet – husk også altid at leve i beskuerens øje.

Jeg garanterer disse anbefalinger virker: GOD FORNØJELSE med at fjerne dit upassende slørede privilegeblinde smil!

GUIDE: VAMMENS ANTI-DEPRI-KUR

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