ANTI-ISM: In the past, there was always a group or a self-appointed genius who sought to take the throne, or an emerging religion that aimed to overthrow its predecessors by declaring them outdated, passé, and “so very last year.” This mechanism still exists within politics, philosophy, and art.

Isms tend to be invasive, even if their fans deny having a binary worldview based on belief, they feel they have a patent on reality and everyone else should kneel to their ideas. 

Today, everything is accelerating, the rules are bypassed, and we have so much informational power that it’s absurd to try to encapsulate the fleeting reality flux with a universal dogmatic code that often bypasses common sense and rational empathy.

That’s why here’s a cheat code for -isms: mix your mutant, or drop it and act as a human from moment to moment—but never forget where you want to end up. Here is a relatively non-biased cheat code to the major isms:

Abolitionism

Good thing: Advocates for the immediate end of slavery and human trafficking.
Worst thing: Can be criticized for disregarding the complexities of economic and social systems when calling for an immediate abolition.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue as an important moral stance and human rights advocacy.

Absolutism

Good thing: Can bring strong, centralized leadership that provides stability.
Worst thing: Leads to authoritarian rule, the suppression of freedoms, and lack of checks on power.
Death toll: Millions, particularly under absolutist monarchs and dictatorships.
Future: The tech-lords want it in a 2.0.

Anarchism

Good thing: Advocates for self-governance and the abolition of hierarchical structures.
Worst thing: Can lead to chaos, lawlessness, and power vacuums exploited by criminal elements. Anarchy = riot in media newspeak.
Death toll: Associated with violence in revolutionary movements, but no direct death toll.
Future: Likely to continue as a niche political movement, though difficult to implement in large-scale societies without a shift in consciousness; anarchy is more of a utopian ideal now.

Anti-Capitalism

Good thing: Seeks to eliminate economic inequality and exploitation caused by capitalist systems.
Worst thing: Can lead to economic inefficiency and authoritarian regimes when attempted in practice.
Death toll: Millions, particularly in socialist or communist regimes that attempted anti-capitalist policies.
Future: Likely to remain a critique of global capitalism, though it faces significant opposition from the owners and their slaves.

Anti-ism

Best:
Refuses to be boxed in. Question every label, tribe, and ideological shortcut. Values direct experience over dogma. Keeps the mind agile and allergic to groupthink.

Worst:
Risks becoming its rigid identity: proud of believing in nothing except opposing everything. Easy to slide into smug nihilism, endless contrarianism, or lonely detachment.

Death Toll:
Subtle. Kills movements before they start, friendships before they deepen, and ideas before they ripen. Death by chronic distrust.

Future Point:
In an era overloaded with brands and belief systems, Anti-ism could either blossom into a healthy skepticism, or curdle into a cultural autoimmune disease, where every idea is rejected before it’s understood.

Apatheism

Good thing: Advocates for indifference toward religion, focusing on personal wellbeing over ideological conflict.
Worst thing: Can lead to passivity in the face of social injustice or moral challenges.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to grow among secular populations who reject organized religion but are not actively hostile to it. Big among slackers and bored x-activists.

Berlingske-ism

Best:
Steady hand in chaotic times. Values tradition, order, and pragmatic debate. Brings a certain stable grown-up seriousness to a world drowning in noise and trends. Does not hide the power of money. Not shy about sucking up to a winner.

Worst:
Clings to outdated hierarchies and blind spots about privilege. Retro-conservative, Hidden racism and classism. Populistic. Risks becoming a nostalgic museum piece, mistaking inertia for wisdom. A lot of articles is camoflaged PR and ads for lobbyists. Denial of ressesion, insist on the trickle-down effect. 

Death Toll:
Cultural: slow death of curiosity, as change is politely delayed until it’s irrelevant. Also: erosion of social mobility masked by polite editorial neutrality. Make me feel I live in a strip joint, everything has a price tag.

Future Point:
Berlingske-ism might pivot into luxury-brand centrism—tasteful, risk-averse, survivalist—or wither as new elites demand fresher myths and less polished manners. Will survives as long as there are lobbyists and PR-dinners.

Berlingskeism

Best:
Steady hand in chaotic times. Values tradition, order, and pragmatic debate. Brings a certain stable grown-up seriousness to a world drowning in noise and trends. Does not hide the power of money. Not shy about sucking up to a winner.

Worst:
Clings to outdated hierarchies and blind spots about privilege. Retro-conservative, Hidden racism and classism. Populistic. Risks becoming a nostalgic museum piece, mistaking inertia for wisdom. A lot of articles is camouflaged PR and ads for lobbyists. Denial of recession, insist on the trickle-down effect. Dark blue, almost black. Provincial mindset.

Death Toll:
Cultural: slow death of curiosity, as change is politely delayed until it’s irrelevant. Also, erosion of social mobility masked by polite editorial neutrality. Make me feel I live in a strip joint, everything has a price tag.

Future Point:
Berlingske-ism might pivot into luxury-brand centrism—tasteful, risk-averse, survivalist—or wither as new elites demand fresher myths and less polished manners. Will survives as long as there are lobbyists and PR dinners.

Buddhism

Good thing: Advocates for inner peace, mindfulness, and compassion.
Worst thing: Can be misused for commercial purposes or lead to detachment from social action. Easy to control, opium for the masses.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Will likely continue to grow, especially in the West, as a source of personal peace and mindfulness.

Capitalism

Good thing: Fosters economic growth, innovation, and individual freedoms.
Worst thing: Leads to income inequality, exploitation of workers, environmental degradation, and mental health issues. The risk of a few owning almost everything.
Death toll: Millions, particularly due to economic inequalities and exploitative labor practices.
Future: Likely to remain dominant, though with increasing calls for reform to address inequality, mental and environmental issues.

Christianity

Good thing: Promotes love, forgiveness, charity, and the pursuit of moral goodness.
Worst thing: Can lead to dogmatism, intolerance, repression, and conflict between different denominations.
Death toll: Millions, especially during religious wars, inquisitions, and persecution of non-believers.
Future: Will continue to be a major global religion, big influence on US politics, though increasingly challenged by secularism in some regions. Still growing in Africa.

Classism

Good thing: None inherently; however, proponents may argue that it reinforces social order and the “natural” structure of society, though this is highly controversial.
Worst thing: Perpetuates inequality, discrimination, and social divisions based on socioeconomic status, leading to limited opportunities for the lower classes.
Death toll: Indirectly contributes to social inequality and poverty, which can result in a lower quality of life and early death, particularly in marginalized communities.
Future: Likely to persist unless societal movements for equality, social justice, and economic reforms address class disparities. Increased awareness may gradually reduce its influence.

Communism

Good thing: Advocates for the abolition of class divisions and the establishment of a classless society.
Worst thing: Has historically led to authoritarian regimes, economic collapse, and massive human rights abuses.
Death toll: Tens of millions, particularly during Stalinist purges, Chinese Great Leap Forward, and other Communist regimes.
Future: Likely to persist as a critique of capitalist systems, though its practical implementations have largely failed and can be seen as “State-capitalism” or dictatorship.

Confucianism

Good thing: Emphasizes social harmony, respect for authority, and personal morality.
Worst thing: Can be used to justify authoritarianism and suppress individual freedoms.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential, particularly in East Asia.

Constructivism

Good thing: Focuses on the idea that knowledge is constructed through social interaction and experience.
Worst thing: Can lead to relativism and an overemphasis on subjective perspectives at the cost of objective truth.
Death toll: None.
Future: Likely to continue influencing education, psychology, and social theory.

Democracy

Good thing: Promotes political equality, freedom, and participation in governance.
Worst thing: Can be inefficient, prone to populism, and susceptible to the influence of money in politics.
Death toll: None directly, though flawed democratic systems have led to unrest and violence.
Future: Will continue to be a dominant political system globally, though facing increasing challenges from authoritarianism and big business.

Determinism

Good thing: Emphasizes that events are caused by prior conditions, promoting scientific understanding of cause and effect.
Worst thing: Can lead to fatalism, where individuals feel powerless to change their circumstances.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in philosophical debates, particularly around free will and ethics.

Dualism

Good thing: Emphasizes the existence of both physical and spiritual realms, allowing for a broader view of reality.
Worst thing: Can create a sharp divide between body and mind, leading to neglect of holistic understanding. Binary discussions based on belief.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Will remain influential in philosophy and religious thought.

Egalitarianism

Good thing: Advocates for equal rights, opportunities, and treatment for all individuals.
Worst thing: Can overlook merit or individual differences in an effort to achieve equality. One size fits all…not.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a key principle in human rights and social justice movements.

Environmentalism

Good thing: Advocates for the protection and preservation of the natural environment for future generations.
Worst thing: Can sometimes conflict with economic development or practical solutions to environmental problems.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Will continue to be a major focus of global policy, particularly in response to climate change.

Existentialism

Good thing: Emphasizes individual freedom, responsibility, and the search for meaning in life.
Worst thing: Can lead to despair or nihilism if individuals feel overwhelmed by the inherent absurdity of life. Feeling powerless – “the game is rigged” – depression.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue influencing philosophy, psychology, and the arts.

Fascism

Good thing: Advocates for strong leadership, national unity, and social order.
Worst thing: Leads to extreme authoritarianism, suppression of dissent, and violent repression of minorities.
Death toll: Tens of millions, particularly during World War II and the Holocaust.
Future: Likely to remain a highly controversial ideology, though sometimes resurging in authoritarian movements. Rebrands and camouflages in many seductive forms.

Feminism

Good thing: Advocates for gender equality, women’s rights, and social justice.
Worst thing: Can be perceived as extreme when it disregards male perspectives or equates all men with oppressors.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue evolving and gaining support globally, with intersectional approaches gaining prominence. Never-ending war with incels.

Feudalism

Good thing: Provided a stable social and economic structure in medieval Europe.
Worst thing: Perpetuated class divisions, serfdom, and lack of mobility.
Death toll: Millions due to wars, famines, and exploitation.
Future: Obsolete as a political system but still studied for historical insights. Today we live in a Techno-feudal age – we pay for digital space to exist in and harvest, and are taxed with datamining.

Georgism

Good thing: Advocates for a single tax on land value, promoting fairness, reducing economic inequality, and encouraging efficient land use.
Worst thing: Can be difficult to implement in practice and may face resistance from landowners and those with vested interests in maintaining the current system. Utopic.
Death toll: None directly; however, the unequal distribution of land and resources can contribute to social unrest and poverty.
Future: Could gain traction as economic inequality continues to grow, but its widespread adoption would require significant systemic changes and overcoming political opposition.

Hedonism

Good thing: Promotes the pursuit of personal pleasure and the avoidance of pain.
Worst thing: Can lead to selfishness, indulgence, and neglect of responsibilities.
Death toll: None directly, but lots of addicts and alcoholics suffer.
Future: Likely to remain a part of philosophical discussions about happiness and the meaning of life. The party becomes work – people move on to the next dopamine trigger.

Humanism

Good thing: Emphasizes the importance of human values, dignity, and reason.
Worst thing: Can sometimes be overly secular or dismissive of spiritual or religious beliefs. 
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue shaping discussions in ethics, education, and human rights. Needs rebranding, too cliche.

Individualism

Good thing: Advocates for personal freedom, autonomy, and self-expression.
Worst thing: Can lead to selfishness, disregard for community, and a lack of social responsibility and empathy.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a key tenet of liberal democracies and capitalist societies.

Islam

Good thing: Promotes peace, charity, and devotion to God.
Worst thing: Can be misinterpreted or used as a tool for authoritarian control, leading to violence and intolerance.
Death toll: Tens of millions, particularly in violent conflicts and persecution.
Future: Likely to remain a dominant global religion with a growing influence, particularly in the Middle East and parts of Asia.

Judaism

Good thing: Emphasizes justice, community, and the pursuit of knowledge.
Worst thing: It can sometimes be exclusive, leading to isolation from other groups.
Death toll: Millions, particularly during the Holocaust and ongoing conflicts in the Middle East.
Future: Will continue to be a major religious force, particularly in Israel and Jewish communities worldwide. Super influential.

Liberalism

Good thing: Promotes individual freedoms, equality, and democratic governance.
Worst thing: Can sometimes overlook economic inequality and social justice concerns in favor of market-driven solutions. Trickle-down effect non-existent, lacks empathy, fosters mental health issues. Offers the most lucrative solutions, not the holistically best solutions.
Death toll: None directly, though liberal regimes have been involved in colonialism and exploitation.
Future: Powerful, likely to continue shaping political and social systems in the West, though facing minor challenges from alternative models, but the market will absorb everything.

Libertarianism

Good thing: Advocates for maximum individual freedom and limited government intervention.
Worst thing: Can lead to neglect of social safety nets and inequalities, particularly in health and education. Mad Max.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in political discourse, especially in the United States.

Materialism

Good thing: Focuses on the tangible aspects of life and the material world, emphasizing practical outcomes.
Worst thing: Can lead to consumerism, greed, and neglect of spiritual or intellectual pursuits. Mental health issues.
Death toll: None directly, but lots of suicide and shortened life spans.
Future: Likely to persist in capitalist societies, though increasingly criticized in the context of environmental and social concerns – the critique will be absorbed and integrated for even better products.

Metamodernism

Best:
Gives a generation permission to hope again without feeling stupid. Balances skepticism with a hunger for meaning. Makes art, politics, and personal identity more playful, flexible, and self-aware.

Worst:
Turns into a fashionable pose: performative sincerity, weaponized vulnerability, and endless “both-sidesism” where no real stance is ever taken. Risk of emotional exhaustion from constant oscillation.

Death Toll:
Indirect. Leads to paralysis by complexity: fewer revolutions, more depressive scrolling. A slow leak of momentum rather than dramatic explosions.

Future:
Likely to mutate into “hyperfluidism”—where identities, truths, and aesthetics are endlessly mixed, streamed, and recycled at such speed that coherence itself becomes retro. Alternatively, might stabilize into a new pragmatic idealism, if it survives irony fatigue.

Monarchism

Good thing: Can provide stability and continuity through hereditary leadership.
Worst thing: Can lead to oppression, lack of political freedoms, and the entrenchment of inequality. A non-democratic casino of genetics.
Death toll: Varies by regime, with notable cases in historical monarchies.
Future: Likely to remain a niche political system, though some monarchies persist in the Middle East and Europe. A lobby for the old elite, and a tourist attraction seen from the outside.

Mysticism

Good thing: Emphasizes a deep, personal connection with the divine or spiritual world.
Worst thing: Can lead to escapism and neglect of practical concerns.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in spiritual and philosophical discussions. Growing market for fake mysticism as identity boosters and as antidote to the hollow feelings of capitalism.

New Ageism

Good thing: Emphasizes spiritual exploration, holistic healing, and personal growth, offering people alternative paths to understanding themselves and the world around them.
Worst thing: Can encourage pseudo-science, exploitation of vulnerable individuals, and the appropriation of spiritual practices without cultural sensitivity, often leading to shallow or ungrounded solutions to complex problems. Often fake products, used as drugs by seekers.
Death toll: Indirect; the promotion of unverified healing practices or rejection of conventional medicine can lead to preventable health risks or deaths.
Future: Likely to continue as a subculture, though it may become more critical and self-aware as skepticism grows around its more extreme or unfounded claims. Could inspire science.

Nihilism

Good thing: Encourages individuals to create their own meaning and values in an otherwise meaningless world.
Worst thing: Can lead to despair, apathy, and a lack of motivation to improve the world.
Death toll: None directly, abuse.
Future: Likely to remain a philosophical position, particularly in existential and postmodern thought. Has a bad name.

Nationalism

Good thing: Fosters national pride, unity, and a sense of collective identity.
Worst thing: Can lead to xenophobia, exclusionary practices, and violent conflicts between nations. Retro.
Death toll: Millions, particularly in wars and genocides driven by nationalist ideologies.
Future: Likely to persist, particularly in response to globalization and migration, though increasingly criticized in a globalized world. Big Neo-nationalist retro movement, denying the digitized world run by brands with more money than nations.

Paganism

Good thing: Celebrates nature, the earth, and diverse deities, offering a flexible spiritual path.
Worst thing: Can be misunderstood and marginalized due to its polytheistic nature.
Death toll: None directly, media rumors of human sacrifice.
Future: Likely to persist as a spiritual path for those seeking a connection to the earth and nature-based religions. Big commercial potential as identity booster and fake healer.

Pantheism

Good thing: Sees the divine in all things, promoting respect for nature and the interconnectedness of all life.
Worst thing: Can be seen as overly abstract, making it difficult to engage with in practical terms.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a niche belief system, particularly among those with environmental or spiritual concerns. Could have a resurgence due to the rise in psychedelic use.

Patriarchy

Good thing: Historically, offered stable family structures and social roles.
Worst thing: Leads to gender inequality, oppression of women, and stifling of personal freedoms. Can foster incels.
Death toll: Millions, particularly due to gender-based violence, oppression, and systemic inequality.
Future: Likely to be challenged increasingly as gender equality movements gain traction.

Politikenism

Best:
Surburban enlightenment at its finest: values empathy, climate action, minority rights, and delayed cultural sophistication. Champions thoughtfulness, bike lanes, sensitivity and the perfect artisanal coffee.

Worst:
Tends toward moral superiority, privileged navel-gazing, and fashionably vague virtue signaling masked as activism. Feels like a lifestyle brand pretending to be a revolution, a diversion for the lost middle class, a fake alternative, always the last to any party, voyeur energy, a dollhouse/religion to keep reality away.

Death Toll:
Mostly psychological: death of nuance through well-meaning echo chambers, and a slow suffocation of radical thought under polite consensus. Isolation from reality. Moral angst and   life paralysis.

Future Point:
Politikenism will sink into an elegant irrelevance, preaching to shrinking circles of brunch liberals while the world burns.

Polytheism

Good thing: Offers a variety of gods to worship, providing flexibility in spiritual practice.
Worst thing: Can lead to fragmentation of religious practices and conflicts between different deities or cults.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain important in certain regions and among followers of indigenous religions. The mix-and-match approach fits the new age market.

Postmodernism

Good thing: Challenges traditional narratives and promotes critical thinking, diversity of perspectives, and skepticism of authority.
Worst thing: Can lead to relativism, confusion, and an inability to agree on objective truths or values. Can lead to apathy and celebration of hollow late capitalism. Only producing theories, not new realities. Stalling history, “everything done, everything is a remix”.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in arts, philosophy, and cultural studies, though increasingly criticized for undermining objective reality.

Pragmatism

Good thing: Advocates for practical solutions and decisions based on real-world consequences rather than abstract principles.
Worst thing: Can lead to a lack of commitment to ideals or ethical consistency in pursuit of immediate results. No long-term investment or vision, ad hoc.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in philosophy, politics, and policy-making.

Protestantism

Good thing: Emphasizes personal faith, individual relationship with God, and the importance of scripture.
Worst thing: Can lead to division and conflict between different Protestant denominations and other Christian sects. Boring.
Death toll: Tens of millions, especially during religious wars like the Thirty Years’ War.
Future: Likely to remain a major global religion, especially in the Americas and parts of Europe.

Racism

Good thing: None. Easy.
Worst thing: Justifies the mistreatment, segregation, and genocide of people based on race or ethnicity.
Death toll: Hundreds of millions throughout history, particularly in colonialism, slavery, and racial genocide.
Future: Ideally, it will continue to decline, though still prevalent in many regions, with efforts to challenge racism gaining strength. Classism is the new racism.

Religious Fundamentalism

Good thing: Provides a sense of certainty and community for believers.
Worst thing: Leads to dogmatism, intolerance, and violence against those who don’t share the same beliefs.
Death toll: Millions, particularly in wars and acts of terrorism linked to religious extremism.
Future: Likely to persist in areas with strong religious influence, but increasingly challenged by secularization and interfaith dialogue. Lots of hidden liberal fundamentalism.

Satanism

Good thing: Emphasizes individualism and personal empowerment. Encourages free thought and critical thinking. Promotes social justice and religious freedom.
Worst thing: Misunderstanding and stigma. Potential for isolation or extremes in some cases. Attracts unconscious types who want power.
Death toll: Modern Satanism is not linked to any significant death toll or violence, but media rumors of sacrifice persist.
Future: Likely to grow as a secular, countercultural force focused on personal empowerment and anti-dogmatism. Morphs.

Social Darwinism

Good thing: Justifies competition and the idea that the “fittest” will survive and thrive in society.
Worst thing: Used to justify inequality, eugenics, and the exploitation of vulnerable groups.
Death toll: Millions, particularly in the context of eugenics movements and genocide.
Future: Likely to remain largely discredited, but thrives camouflaged in certain conservative ideologies and tech circles.

Singularity

Good thing: Promises rapid technological advancements, potentially leading to solutions for disease, poverty, and environmental challenges.
Worst thing: Could lead to the loss of human autonomy, with AI and machines surpassing human intelligence, creating risks of uncontrollable power.
Death toll: Hypothetical, but the consequences could be catastrophic if not managed properly (e.g., loss of jobs, social instability, or unintended consequences from AI – or AI takeover).
Future: The future remains uncertain; some predict it will revolutionize humanity, while others warn of existential risks if AI becomes uncontrollable or misused. We tend to forget we programmed it….

Socialism

Good thing: Advocates for social equality, the redistribution of wealth, and access to basic services like healthcare and education.
Worst thing: Can lead to authoritarianism, lack of individual freedoms, and inefficiency in economic systems.
Death toll: Tens of millions, especially during the rise of communist regimes in the 20th century (e.g., Soviet Union, China, Cuba).
Future: Likely to continue evolving, with various forms of socialism gaining popularity in many parts of the world, especially in Europe and parts of Latin America. Needs to hit a balance with the liberal instincts without oppression.

Situationism

Good thing: Promotes creativity, spontaneity, and the idea of transforming everyday life through art and culture, encouraging freedom and challenging capitalist norms.
Worst thing: Can be seen as overly idealistic or impractical, with critics arguing that it does not offer a clear solution to systemic issues or provide a sustainable framework for change. Fingerpaint and circus.
Death toll: No direct death toll, but its ideas about disrupting the status quo could potentially cause social upheaval, leading to instability or violence in extreme cases.
Future: May have a niche influence in artistic and activist circles, but its practical implementation in the broader political or social realm seems limited. However, it could inspire further social movements focused on challenging consumer culture. One could argue that everything is a sad tivoli now anyway.

Sociobiology

Good thing: Explains human behavior through the lens of evolution, offering insight into how our biology affects our social behavior.
Worst thing: Can be misused to justify social inequality and the perpetuation of harmful stereotypes based on biological determinism. Remove individual will.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to continue influencing the fields of biology, psychology, and anthropology.

Stoicism

Good thing: Encourages resilience, emotional control, and the focus on what can be controlled.
Worst thing: Can lead to emotional suppression and detachment from social causes or personal connections. Lonely, Anti-social. Jordan.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain influential in self-help, philosophy, and wellness circles.

Sufism

Good thing: Emphasizes the mystical and personal relationship with God, promoting peace, love, and spiritual growth.
Worst thing: Can be marginalized or persecuted by more orthodox religious sects.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a mystical influence within Islam, particularly in parts of the Middle East and South Asia.

Taoism

Good thing: Advocates for balance, harmony with nature, and the pursuit of simplicity and wisdom.
Worst thing: Can sometimes be too passive or fatalistic, discouraging action against injustice. A hippie excuse for lack of direction and responsibility, lazy, pretentious.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to persist as an influential philosophical and spiritual tradition, especially in East Asia, sliding into global neo-new age.

Technocracy

Good thing: Advocates for governance by experts in science and technology, aiming for rational and efficient decision-making.
Worst thing: Can lead to a disconnect from democratic processes and social considerations.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain relevant in discussions about the role of technology in governance and economics.

Totalitarianism

Good thing: Can create a unified, strong state that maintains order and control.
Worst thing: Leads to the suppression of freedom, individual rights, and opposition, often using violence and surveillance.
Death toll: Tens of millions, particularly in regimes like Nazi Germany, Stalinist Russia, and North Korea.
Future: Likely to continue to be a controversial and discredited ideology, though totalitarian movements may resurface via tech-bros and their political puppets.

Trumpism

Best:
Dragged hidden resentments, economic fears, and distrust of elites into the open. Shattered stale political conventions. Gave a voice (and memes) to people who felt invisible. Shameless white trash aesthetics – from a billionaire. Highjacking rebellious rhetoric. Turning reality into fiction into reality, making news exciting, unifying Europe.

Worst:
Normalized lying, bullying, scapegoating, narcissism, and anti-democratic tendencies. Turned public discourse into a rage-fueled reality show/wrestling. Inflamed divisions and glorified ignorance as authenticity. Fucking climate, education and gay rights up. Running USA as his own investment club, not for the people.

Death Toll:
Measured in COVID mishandling, Capitol riots, environmental deregulation, and a general erosion of trust in institutions. Also: deaths of nuance, compromise, and polite conversation.

Future:
Trumpism will linger as an aesthetic and strategy long after Trump himself fades—a blueprint for charismatic strongman populism worldwide, weaponized grievance, bullying and endless culture wars.

Transhumanism

Good thing: Advocates for the use of technology to enhance human capabilities and transcend biological limitations.
Worst thing: Can lead to ethical concerns about inequality, loss of human essence, and unchecked technological power, data mining, and AI takeover. Tends to trust a love machine over man. We talk about chip implants, but have iPhones in our hands constantly all the time.
Death toll: None directly, but casualties from biohacking home projects.
Future: Likely to grow as technology advances, especially in bioengineering and AI.

Utilitarianism

Good thing: Promotes the greatest good for the greatest number, emphasizing happiness and welfare.
Worst thing: Can justify harmful actions or inequality in the name of maximizing overall happiness.
Death toll: None directly, but the philosophy has been linked to justifying harmful policies throughout history.
Future: Likely to remain influential in ethics, particularly in decision-making and public policy.

Wokeism

Good thing: Promotes awareness of social injustices, inequalities, and systemic oppression, encouraging activism for marginalized groups and striving for social progress and inclusion.
Worst thing: Can lead to oversensitivity, cancel culture, and a focus on performative allyship rather than real systemic change, sometimes creating division instead of unity.
Death toll: None directly; however, the polarization it can create might contribute to societal tensions or cultural conflicts, potentially diverting attention from more pressing issues, isolation and loneliness.
Future: Despite heavy critique and morphing into parody, it is likely to remain influential in shaping discourse around social justice and equality, though it may evolve or be moderated as people seek more balanced, nuanced approaches to social change.

Žižekism

Best:
A dazzling cocktail of Marxism, psychoanalysis, and pop culture. Forces you to rethink ideology by turning everything inside out, usually while making you laugh. Reminds us that true radicality often hides in the absurd. Keep you on your toes.

Worst:
Endless detours and intellectual trolling. Heavy on red herrings and provocation, light on solutions. Sometimes hard to tell whether you’re being enlightened or just entertained into confusion. Atract pretentious prats. Hard to ignore the master’s dripping nose. Maybe a distraction from real alternatives.

Death Toll:
Minimal in direct terms—but measurable in time lost trying to decode five-hour lectures about toilets, Hitchcock, and Hegel.

Future Point:
Žižekism may evolve into a permanent style of critical thought: weaponized paradox, memes-as-theory, and high-speed irony loops. Likely to survive as long as there are conferences, cocktails, and contradictions. The Dylan of theory-fandom?

Zoroastrianism

Good thing: Advocates for the fight between good and evil, emphasizing the importance of righteousness, truth, and charity.
Worst thing: Can be marginalized due to its relatively small following and competition with larger religions.
Death toll: None directly.
Future: Likely to remain a minor but historically significant religion, influencing other faiths, particularly in Iran and parts of India.

BY PETER SMITH

To be regularly updated…please feel free to criticize and suggest new -isms.

GUIDE: an ever-growing incomplete A-Z of sex?

The post A bluffers guide to ideology / A-Z of isms appeared first on BLAZAR.

Whether you’re strolling the canals or biking through neighborhoods filled with the most stylish/happy & beautiful locals, Copenhagen’s ice cream culture is the cherry on top of your Nordic gourmet adventure. Forget “The Bear” and pastry hunting; here’s your essential guide – from historic parlors to exotic vegan pioneers. Here’s a snapshot of the current state of our vibrant ice cream scene:

1. Siciliansk Is (Vesterbro & Nørrebro) MY FAVORITE!

Address: Skydebanegade 3, 1709 København V and Rantzausgade 56, 2200 København N

Hours: Daily 12:00–21:00 (seasonal)

Highlights: Authentic Sicilian gelato made from organic ingredients

Top Picks: Pistachio di Bronte, Ricotta & Pear, Blood Orange Sorbet

2. Isoteket (Multiple locations) (THE AVANTGARDE MASHUP)

Address: Main shop – Stefansgade 15, 2200 København N

Hours: Daily 12:00–22:00

Highlights: Inventive gelato flavors with bold pairings.

Top Picks: Hazelnut & Bergamot, Coffee & Lemongrass, Blackberry & Lime

3.  La Glace (City Center) (THE HEAVY SHIT)

Address: Skoubogade 3, 1158 København K

Hours: Mon–Sat: 08:30–18:00 (closed Sundays in summer)

Highlights: Classic Danish ice cream in historical setting – get there early, tourists cue up fast.

Top Picks: Vanilla with Whipped Cream, Rhubarb Sorbet, Nougat Ice Cake

COPENHAGENS SECRET SOUNDTRACK

4. Østerberg Ice Cream (Tullinsgade)

Address: Tullinsgade 25, 1618 København V

Hours: Daily 12:00–18:00

Highlights: Exotic flavor innovation in cozy Vesterbro shop.

Top Picks: Sea Buckthorn Sorbet, Licorice Ice Cream, Mango & Passion Fruit

5. Ismageriet (Amager, Søborg, Kødbyen)

Address: Kongelundsvej 116, 2300 København S (Flagship)

Hours: Daily 11:30–21:30

Highlights: One of Copenhagen’s most beloved ice cream institutions, known for its ultra-creamy texture and creative but approachable flavors. Everything is made fresh in-house daily in small batches. Nice big cafe in Kødbyen, perfect after a hot summer night dancing.

Top Picks: Ferrero Rocher Gelato, Salted Pistachio, Strawberry Sorbet with Licorice Swirl.

The rest of the quality pack, in no particular order:

Peter Beier Chokolade (Multiple Locations in Copenhagen)
Address: Store Kongensgade 3, 1264 København K; Falkoner Allé 43, 2000 Frederiksberg; Terminal 2, Copenhagen Airport, 2770 Kastrup

Hours: Mon–Sun: 10:00–18:00 (hours may vary by location)

Highlights: Peter Beier Chokolade is renowned for its handcrafted chocolates made from cocoa beans sourced from their own plantation in the Dominican Republic. Their cafés offer a luxurious experience combining chocolate, ice cream, and various delicacies.

Top Picks: White Chocolate Ice Cream with Crispy Pearls and Orange Zest, Strawberry Sorbet,Chocolate Ice Cream with Homemade Brownie Chunks…

 Alice Ice Cream & Coffee (Amagerbro)

Address: Markmandsgade 1, 2300 København S

Hours: Mon–Fri 08:00–17:00; Sat–Sun 09:00–17:00

Highlights: Small-batch, high-quality creations.

Top Picks: Salted Caramel with Dark Chocolate, Buttermilk & Blueberry, Coffee Bar Ice Cream

Østerberg Ice Cream (Østerbro & Vesterbro)

Addresses: Rosenvængets Allé 7C, 2100 København Ø & Tullinsgade 25, 1618 København V

Hours: Daily 12:00–18:00

Highlights: Scientific method meets exotic and Nordic fruit.

Top Picks: Dragon Fruit, Yuzu, Mango & Passion Fruit

Nicecream (Nørrebro, Vesterbro, Østerbro, Frederiksberg)

Address: Elmegade 30, 2200 København N

Hours: Daily 12:00–20:00

Highlights: 100% vegan, coconut-based and indulgent.

Top Picks: Peanut Butter Fudge, Cookie Dough Dream, Mint Choc Chip

ISTID (Nørrebro)

Address: Jægersborggade 13, 2200 København N

Hours: Mar–Sept: Daily 12:00–21:00

Highlights: Ice cream made with liquid nitrogen.

Top Picks: Salted Caramel, Stracciatella, Rhubarb Swirl with Oat Crumble

Olufs Is (Østerbro)

Address: Olufsvej 6, 2100 København Ø

Hours: Mon–Fri 13:00–18:00; Sat–Sun 12:00–18:00

Highlights: Gourmet popsicles dipped in chocolate.

Top Picks: Mango Sorbet with Dark Chocolate, Vanilla Pistachio Pop, Licorice Lemon-Chocolate Pop

Aurora Ismejeri (Vesterbro)

Address: Flaskehalsen 11, 1799 København V

Hours: Mon–Thu 08:00–17:00; Fri 08:00–20:00; Sat–Sun 09:00–evening

Highlights: From the creators of Alice – bold, buttery, and Nordic.

Top Picks: Sea Buckthorn Sorbet, Brown Butter Caramel, Licorice Ice Cream

Kødbyens Is (Vesterbro)

Address: Flæsketorvet 43, 1711 København V

Hours: Daily in summer (check Instagram off-season)

Highlights: Organic and unafraid of odd combos.

Top Picks: Peanut Crunch, Dill & Coconut Sorbet, Chive & Hazelnut Gelato

Frederiksberg Chokolade (Frederiksberg)

Address: Frederiksberg Allé 64, 1820 Frederiksberg

Hours: Mon–Fri 10:00–18:00; Sat 10:00–15:00

Highlights: Historic chocolatier now crafting bold ice cream.

Top Picks: Apple Pie Ice Cream, Beer Ice Cream, Chocolate-Dipped Cones

Anker Chokolade (Vesterbro)

Address: Godsbanegade 17, 1722 København V

Hours: Mon–Sat 10:00–18:00; Sun 11:00–16:00

Highlights: Michelin-level chocolates and seasonal ice creams.

Top Picks: Apple & Brown Butter Ice Cream, Chocolate with Passion Fruit & Licorice, Flødeboller with Marzipan Base

ENJOY!

COPENHAGENS SECRET SOUNDTRACK

The post The Ultimate Ice Cream Guide to Copenhagen/13 Must-Try Ice Cream Shops & 39 Signature Flavors appeared first on BLAZAR.

I sob. I tried to scrape a split squirrel off  the windshield wiper in the red emergency light. I turned down the car’s sound system, which had otherwise been blasting continuously – Wagner had spurred me into a race with myself.

“Hello, my name is Roger Christensen – I just hit a squirrel. I’m sending my coordinates.” He trembled, crackling in the receiver. “No, it’s completely dead.”

The insurance will pay for a new windshield. I drove on carefully, nodded to the guard at the electric wire fence, looked into the pupil-scanner, then lowered a hatch to an elevator, drove many floors down below the surface – until I reached my crew, who as always sat apathetically in a light blue sofa arrangement under a wall decoration with a knight’s glove embracing lightning watching Godard or football. I pick at a plate of dry vegetarian tapas.

My pilot David hummed along to a hair-metal ballad – probably Bon Jovi – as navigator Paul picked his nose – which was uncomfortable for Kim, our EWO, who had dyed her hair with henna recently. “Nice hair, ginger – sorry I’m late…” The team looked up from a Superbowl rerun and exclaimed: “500 dollars in the penalty box” in unison. What the hell, someone has to pay for their snotty brats’ pizza at our next summer party.

The alarm goes off – but it’s not the fire alarm. It’s a high-frequency pulsating howl, I routinely grab a napkin, roll it and block my ear, then we grab our helmets and head towards the elevator: “Damn, another damn exercise. Good thing I’ll be retiring in 2 months.”

When we hit the dark surface, a cart is ready – we are dropped off in front of a ladder leading up to a stinking cockpit. I strap myself in – synchronize my system with Kim’s, we sit tandem on the lower deck of the aircraft without windows in front of banks of screens. The engines roar, we roll down the concrete, pushing the 300-ton heavy plane upwards.

Kim’s screens doesn’t update. “Have you heard any rumors about this exercise?” She smiles – “It’s probably just the usual gas – a few air refuelings over Greenland – and then back home – or a round trip from Texas to Bornholm and back?” The captain curses on the radio. Finally, my screens update – I see 12 missiles under the wings and two antiquities and some drones in the bomb bay. WTF? I beep the captain: “Can you explain what we’re doing?”

“Code purple!” He mumles gravely. The purple procedure requires all radios to be turned off now, so we cannot be influenced by false AI-generated orders or emit traceable signals. I look over at Kim, but her screen doesn’t show any course directions, only sensors picking up radar, radio, and infrared signals around us, mostly civil traffic, tele- smog and mobile masts.

“Any idea what’s going on?” Kim looks worriedly at me: “I haven’t heard anything – but I don’t keep up with the news anymore – my best guess is a training mission with the old stockpile, maybe a show of force parade run against China or near Ukraine?” She points  at my screen, which shows our cargo: “Fortunately, we don’t have to bomb anyone today – those antique weapons are massive – maybe there’s an airshow with a Cold War theme somewhere in the southern states?”

We press the full auto menu and eat our pre-packaged sterile lunch boxes and doze off as if there were sleeping pills in them. We wake up when the fuselage is hit by a fuel hose from a massive tanker drone. The screen shows we circle over the the North Sea now.

The captain has placed a red box in our laps. We open the boxes – there are 5 pills – probably some caffeine and valium to increase our stamina on long voyages – they usually feels quite pleasant. But there’s also a chip, we break it open to find a hidden code inside.

We enter the code into the terminal, which then show Severomorsk on a satellite map – a northern submarine base near Murmansk, only 1500 km away. My stomach churns as the plane automatically goes down to treetop level over the almost endless Norwegian forest.

I put on my helmet and fasten the seatbelts again as everything starts to vibrate and jolt around. Through the headphones, I can hear the radar signals grazing our heavy iron eagle, despite endless modifications, still designed in the 1950s.

Kim activates the new jammers, my Chinese digital wristwatch dies. I guess she just fried all non-NATO chips within a 20 km radius. Even though the wind resistance and machines are loud, screams from the pilot’s deck overpower everything. I crawl up the ladder but get blinded, put on sunglasses that don’t work, and then hit a button that releases the cockpit curtain. I throw myself flat and shout: “Gain altitude – incoming shockwave.”

I crawl over to the pilots, fumble for the morphine and inject needles into their thighs, then drag their limp bodies down to the rest berth at the back of the cockpit so I can strap them securely. Then, the shockwave hits. It’s as if everything in the cabin is boiling for a few seconds, as we are pushed through the sound barrier with a blast, the wings creak and flutter like a seagull. Fuck.

Kim pops her head up on the pilot’s deck: “I’ve put everything on full auto and synchronized our screens with the cockpit, we might have to take over the mission.” We take over the pilots’ seats and cautiously roll up the curtain. The light is strange. We stare fearfully at the screens, but they update slowly – thankfully, a “mission aborted” message pops up – phew…then a chilling “await new target.”

The plane banks and goes down to treetop level over an endless snowy landscape – we see radar tracks ahead on the map, then our SRAM missile shoots out from under the left wing, accelerating to Mach 3 and disappearing a few hundred kilometers into the horizon.

“Fuck, the AI has taken over – maybe because I’m not in my correct seat…” We see a bright ball of light at the end of our missile’s trajectory, about 120 km away. “There goes some of Russia’s air defense.” The EMP radiation has significantly reduced all electronic activity outside the plane, but the Geiger counter starts to click like a woodpecker.

We turn the plane so we can surf on the shockwave from our missile’s explosion. The AI takes over again, and as the dark clouds below us disperse, an incinerated city is revealed. Kim starts sobbing: “While we were asleep, the fools fought a nuclear war…”

I try not to think about what it looks like on the home front right now – and decide to try to squeeze her clammy hand, as we can’t hug strapped into our seats. Maybe we should take more pills now – before the others stop working?

“I guess we’re circling around, waiting for the satellites to see what’s left of Russia – so we can finish them off…” Kim clenches her teeth now. A couple of missiles drop from the pylon under the left wing and fly left and right – probably to suppress the ground air defense systems and scorch everything living around them. At the end of their trajectories a few hundred kilometers away, small suns ignite. We still have 9 missiles left under the wings. I dare not think about what’s in the bomb bay.

Kim starts pounding the keyboard as if in a bad movie where the protagonist hits the steering wheel of a car in impotence. I consider laying her down, as she could compromise the mission, but get distracted as our two blind colleagues in the back start moving, so I give them morphine again, then water drops.

A gray haze covers the landscape, the sun’s rays cannot penetrate. Hundreds of smoke columns rise towards the stratosphere. Our GPS no longer works, the satellites were probably smashed by the enormous EMP discharges from detonating nuclear weapons and various ABM and anti-satellite weapons.

We’ve been flying for over 12 hours now…I guess the first wave of submarine-based Trident missiles has neutralized the Russian missile silos – hope they didn’t have time to react to the radar and shoot back. I silently hope we also managed to eliminate their submarine-based nuclear missiles before they could destroy my homeland. My guess is that we’re now waiting for coordinates for Russia’s mobile systems in Siberia – it would make good sense to boil them now. I jab Kim in the thigh with morphine, she must not disturb me now with humanistic sentimentality.

I cruise down to treetop level again, it’s feels like a giant rollercoaster. The plane automatically releases flares and chaff to distract shoulder-launched heat-seeking missiles, as our sensors have detected life down there.

The plane jerks as the bomb bay doors open, completely changing our aerodynamic profile. The camera shows a city and automatically drops a 4-ton barrel-shaped B53 bomb, which immediately deploys a huge parachute – so we might have a chance to get away. The timer delays the explosion for 240 seconds – at a speed of 800 km/h, I can only get about 50 km away from the detonation. I try to override the automation, turn on all self-defense systems, gain altitude, and push the throttle to the max.

The rear-facing camera shows the bomb standing on its flat nose with a long parachute tail on the roof of a factory-like building surrounded by residential areas. I pray the bomb’s timer is set for the longest possible delay. I put earplugs on under the headphones and cover my eyes with a sleep mask.

Even though we have our backs turned to a fireball with a 2.3 km radius over 50 kilometers away, everything turns white in the cockpit. Then all liquids boil – thankfully, our fuel is in fireproof tanks, but our drinking water evaporates. The rear-facing camera melts, and the tail rudder gets stuck. Then the shockwave comes. Balckout.

I wake up and vomit on my boots. Concussion – and a ringing in my ears. Kim is bleeding from the mouth but twitches. A smell of burnt flesh comes from the berth behind the cockpit. I press the terminals and find that only the the old system that determines star positions works, a map appears. I do a search. We have enough fuel to reach an island in the middle of the Baltic Sea, in NATO territory, I fly manually and glide over an intact cliff landscape.

The Geiger counter is silent, so I head towards a civilian airport where we might be able to refuel – or at least where they have doctors, water, and food. During the approach, I see a burnt-out Russian Hind attack helicopter surrounded by what looks like NATO forces at the control tower.

Damn. I had hoped for a paradise island with a functioning analog telephone booth so I could call home. Naive dream – I think the shit hit the fan globally.

The runway is a bit too short for us, as I brake, the rear landing gear punctures, the rubber is probably melted – we end up with the nose only 30 cm from a concrete wall. I reverse and turn the plane back into starting position, take Kim’s pistol, I’ve always been wary of having only a single handgun on foreign ground.

No reason to move the rest of the crew until I know the area is safe. There’s a civilian waving about 200 meters away – he seems friendly. I put everything on high alert so I can start quickly, then lower the ladder.

It’s strange to be on the ground again after so many hours in the air, I stumble over my numb legs. The civilian comes closer, wearing a blue sailor sweater and a bizarre beanie.

He helps me up and stammers something resembling a Dutch dialect: “Hello new American friend, are you ok?”

“I could use water – and a doctor, please…”

He leads me through the empty terminal to a vending machine with canned soda, but my credit card doesn’t work, so I smash the window with a fire ax and then fold my jacket so I can use it to carry a bunch of cans of water and coke.

The sweater guy looks frightened – maybe it would have been more elegant to ask if he could lend me some coins. He utters some gibberish to a rentacop who shows us a van forward – we hoist the limp pilots into the trunk – the rentacop promises to take them to the hospital nearby. I want to go with the rest of the crew, but the last man must never leave a loaded plane.

I thank sweater guy for his help – he tells me he’s a potter and points to a small house close to the runway. “Hungry?”

I wake up Kim, who is silent and in shock. We go into sweater guy’s thatched house and sit down at a plank table in his pottery workshop – jazz plays through a tube amplifier, and a crackling fireplace warms the room, he opens a bottle of schnapps – I don’t feel like it – and then serves smoked herring with scrambled eggs on homemade rye bread with seeds that are about to crack my teeth.

Kim finally stammers: “Any news?”

“No, radio and the internet are down – but our island was attacked by Russian commandos in helicopters… they tried to control the airport.” He pauses for a moment… “but they underestimated our national guard. We’ll bury the poor souls tomorrow – or burn their corpses…”

Kim bangs her head down the table and sobs. Our polite host shows us to a annex with spiders, a double bed, wilted flowers in quirky vases, and a colorful thick handwoven bedspread.

I look out onto a beautiful cliff landscape that reminds me of Scotland. We awkwardly hug and sob – Kim brushes against my groin, but my penis feels like an ice shrimp – maybe it’s her fake red hair. Neither of us dares to say that we might have killed a few million people – and that we might have to fly on and continue the doomsday work – even though our families, everyone we know, yes, our entire world – is probably gone. I lie awake and all the possible events that triggered this war spins in my head…russian first strike, technical glitch, tactical nuclear exchange in Ukraine, AI takeover?

In the distance, I see the wind turbines turning – they’re turning towards the east. After we listen to some crackling vinyl staring at the ceiling  trying to sleep, the Geiger counter starts to crackle.

We get the sweater-pottery-artist indoors – I seal the windows with duct tape and block the extractor fan with plastic bags. We play chess in the bedroom, then I go to check the fridge for food. The kitchen sink is filled with long white hair – the pottery man must have combed himself and sits bald in the sofa, reading Celine with a bottle of cognac. I spare him the full story.

The post LAST FLIGHT / A SHORT STORY appeared first on BLAZAR.

LISTEN TO MY NON-PURIST RETRO-FUTURISTIC CLASS TOURIST NON BINARY UTOPIAN TECHNO HERE

Techno: my early years

LISTEN TO MY NON-PURIST RETRO-FUTURISTIC CLASS TOURIST NON BINARY UTOPIAN TECHNO HERE

The post The Origins of Techno – Play That Funky Music White Box appeared first on BLAZAR.

Where people once lined up outside nightclubs or for hypebeast sneakers, they now queue at Instagramable bakeries — waiting for the latest genius creations to drop.

So ditch the guilt. Wander the city. Taste your way through these gastrosexual temples of pleasure — listed here in no particular order:

 Juno the Bakery

Århusgade 48, 2100 København Ø
Cardamom swirl (4.70 €)
The swirl that launched a thousand queue selfies. Swedish calm meets Østerbro money. A pastry so perfect it makes you question your life choices.

Hart Bageri

Gammel Kongevej 109, 1850 Frederiksberg C
Krudtløbsvej 8, 1439 København K
Dark-baked country loaf (6.30 €)
Ex-Noma bread philosophy taken to its brooding extreme. Charred crusts, cultish crumb, and the distinct feeling you’re not worthy.

Alice

Markmandsgade 1, 2300 København S
Kouign-amann w/ miso & brown butter (5.20 €)
Dessert meets zen. Miso glaze, flaky tragedy, and Amager minimalism with a sugar rush. They also serve gelato so good you’ll cancel Italy.

Benji

Store Kongensgade 94, 1264 København K
Tonka bean croissant (4.90 €)
Soft jazz, soft light, soft dough. Every croissant here tastes like someone’s ex-boyfriend who writes poetry in Paris.

Collective Bakery

Nørrebrogade 176, 2200 København N
Lemon wave (5.00 €)
Tattooed bakers, Gen-Z espresso fanatics, and pastries that crunch and pucker. Sour meets power in a bun you’ll write a caption about.

Studio X Kitchen

Pasteursvej 28, 1799 København V (Carlsberg Byen)
Giant pistachio kringle (16.00 €)
This is not a pastry, it’s a sculpture. Beige on beige, curated lighting, and kringle priced like wearable art. Look around: you’re inside a mood board.

Københavns Bageri

Flaskehalsen 22, 1799 København V (Carlsberg Byen)
Croissant-dough kringle with prunes & brandy (6.50 €)
Heritage-kitsch turned hypermodern. Brought to life by the Alice/Benji crew with glass-wall transparency and culinary ambition. Tastes like a royal scandal in 1884.

Lille Bakery

Refshalevej 213B, 1432 København K
Sourdough bun with cultured butter (4.30 €)
Industrial utopia on the edge of nowhere. Bread with soul, butter with punch. Brunch for architecture students and fermentation romantics.

Andersen & Maillard (Nørrebro & Nordhavn)

Nørrebrogade 62, 2200 København N / Orientkaj 1, 2150 Nordhavn
Espresso-glazed croissant (5.50 €)
Where caffeine meets laminated elegance. The city’s most photogenic pastries—flexing next to flat whites and heavy eyewear.

Andersen & Maillard (City – Ny Østergade)

Ny Østergade 15, 1101 København K
Cube croissant (6.00 €)
Croissants gone cubist. This is where influencers recharge and architects over-articulate. Nothing round, everything square—including your vibe.

Gasværksvejens Bageri

Gasværksvej 19, 1656 København V
Salted raisin bun (2.60 €)
A no-nonsense rebel bakeshop. Lo-fi, high taste. This place smells like rye, cigarettes, and working-class poetry.

COPENHAGENS SECRET SOUNDTRACK

Rondo

Vesterbrogade 106A, 1620 København V
Liquorice croissant (4.80 €)
Swedish sibling to Juno, with bolder moves. Black licorice and laminated defiance. Croissants that party harder than you.

Det Rene Brød

Multiple locations: Nordre Frihavnsgade 59, Fælledvej 25, Falkoner Allé 36
Ancient grain loaf (5.40 €)
The elder of the Øko movement. Pre-hipster, post-Birkenstock. Feels like a climate march in your mouth.

Democratic Coffee

Krystalgade 15, 1172 København K (inside the library)
Almond croissant (5.20 €)
Almonds so perfect they cause silence. Inside the city’s main library, surrounded by introverts with excellent taste and strong opinions.

Brødflov

Torvegade 45, 1400 København K (Christianshavn)
Burnt butter cinnamon roll (4.70 €)
The hygge is weaponized here. You go in for coffee and come out meditating on your childhood. Subtle, elegant, deadly.

Olinico

Sluseholmen 2, 2450 København SV
Fermented rye focaccia w/ black garlic (5.90 €)
Floating district, floating flavors. A culinary disruptor in a district of sea views and microcement.

Wild Bakery

Guldbergsgade 29F, 2200 København N
Seaweed sourdough w/ edible flowers (6.00 €)
Psychedelic crusts for apocalypse brunches. Experimental baking with botanical flair and heavy existential undertones.

Conditori La Glace

Skoubogade 3, 1158 København K
Sportskage (7.50 € per slice – it’s impossible to run after you taste it…)
The OG grand dame of Danish cakes. Mahogany interiors, whipped cream heritage, and cake forks that haven’t changed since 1870. It’s not ironic—it’s imperial.

COPENHAGENS SECRET SOUNDTRACK

The post A guide to Copenhagen’s elite bakeries  appeared first on BLAZAR.

“I really hate genres – but I tend to use “Electronica” as it is more open that “techno”. One new thing is that people don’t care about the music itself anymore, but about who makes the music. The public is more interested in celebrities and how a certain artist is more famous — than the music itself – pop music is a kind of reality show now. It changed the way the audience relates to music, its about style signals and parasocial relation and most listeners have no transcendental connection to music and its quality anymore, they just wants the glamour. “Electronica” doesn’t want to be part of it, because it’s not about humility, or arrogance, it’s not a posture ′′we don’t want to be famous, we’re underground”. None of that. “Electronica” is about the human soul, not about the appearance. “Electronica” has values, teaches to live the moment, work together, and especially to respect the next and look to the future, it’s about being open in the now for everything thats possible. “Electronica” is an international language that represents freedom, because of its roots in rebellion and mind expansion. “Electronica” makes people feel good about themselves.”

ENJOY THE NEW ALBUM HERE

As a kid Vammen went to music conservatory and made industrial funk tapes and played in weird bong bands and started to DJ back in the 1980s, then he made the first Danish danish acid/techno album as AUM, toured the states in the 90s, composed a lot of jingles  and soundtracks and a more genre blending second solo album, A*A*A.

Then he became a writer, directed adds, documentaries and music videos – but he still bangs out tracks for fun and ghostwrites behind the scenes. Fast forward to present time, where the lockdown made him dig up old files: “Nobody make fucked up dubby post acid anymore…I had to release my archives as well as new stuff thru my label Sofarave.”I met him in his home studio playing with his charming daughter and some shimmering pads from a tall retro rack:

Tell me about the making of the first AUM album? “Imagine the 80s –  no sample banks, genre norms – and no internet …DIY times…and a high learning curve and absolutely no media focus…I  made a lot of tapes for fun influenced by Tackhead, Public Enemy and Throbbing Gristle – some avant-funk  shit. Then the more danceable Detroit, acid and Frankfurt sounds arrived and I blended everything in my home studio via simple hardware samplers and analoge trash. Then I took a stack of DAT tapes to Anders Bonde, a master of one of the first harddisc editors – the waveframe – and we made a puzzle of tracks forming a long DJ set in one accelerating flow – and released it on EBM label Decay.”

“Techno was not really an album format then, as most electronic music was long 12″ tools on vinyl for DJs. It was fun to play live back then – people were confused – as the rave scene where split into minimal, Goa and EBM back then, so people was confused –  I made a personal hybrid.”

The hard second album?  “A*A*A: connoisseurs cornucopia  was released in 1996. After the first Aum album I made some tracks for Lars Von Trier – so the tv and film industry became my main clients and I paused my DJ activities – the club scene was getting nasty and filled with e-robic bikers and fashionfiends on coke and the music suffered. I locked myself into my new studio. The A*A*A album was made with Cubase – and post-jungle chopping was hot. Its a more diverse collection of tracks – there are some jazzy breakbeats and D&B as well as bits from my soundtracks, ads and fashion shows –  tracks for clients like Lars Von Trier, Søren Fauli, Franz Pandal, Kelloggs, Braun, Sygesikringen Danmark, Omo, Vaseline, Ikea, Masterfoods, Lego, PBS, HK, DR, B&O, Psychocowboy, Lowe, Carlsberg, Metroexpress, DR, Nestea,  DR2, Spon Diego & Mads Nørgaard – so the album is also a catalogue of my ideas regarding those brands musical profiles. There are some harder “classic AUM” tracks om the album as well. I edited it in Sweden on 2CI sweating – I cant recomend it. Thomas Erhard made the cover art.” “The  new  album, Perfumes Volume 1 is an ambient collection – I toy with a new edge style, not hippie-healthy new age, this is darker and weirder soundtracks and drones for work, meditation and rituals.” “The AUM archives vol.1, is  drum orientated funky uptempo instrumentals that will appeal to DJs and film directors – as well as a lot of people that find pop too shallow and jazz, rock and classical dated – and techno too static.”

The second albums working title was survivor? “Yes, I survived a lot of harsh stuff in the electronic subcultural scenes and avantgarde ghettos the last 35 years – a lot of friends went insane, used drugs and got used by drugs, became boring, sold out or committed suicide. I somehow survived all the bullshit – making music is a nice way to heal when reality is too evil – music is a mental survival tool – and a pleasure. I could also have titled it AUM 2 or AUM flashbacks, its heavy on the 128 bpm 303 mutations.” “Perfumes & Artifacts Volume 3 album is a blend of the dubwise styles hinted at on the A*A*A album – and more New Edgy ambient drone stuff parred with a post-triphop dash.” Rave Museum Vol.4 is a more dubbby acid rave collection that blends well with The AUM archives vol.1 It also contains a fresh ambient drone and a downtempo beat track. Enjoy volume 4  here…

What’s the  Sofarave label concept? I try to make music that enhance or relight what’s around you so reality becomes a meditative adventure. I’m a designer of atmospheres, I make sonic perfume that can be used as mental tools, smoke and mirrors or enjoyable, safe drugs.

“The corona quarantine made me dig up old, raw files – and instead of remixing and polishing, I just released what felt right now. The obsession with the new is a trap, superficially things change fast – but the basics remain the same. Some of the tracks date back to the late 1980s. I attempt to create a kind of musical scenery which is not entirely “primitive”, not entirely “future” but some place and moment impossible to locate, either chronologically or geographically.”

“I toy around with the idea of a “Sofa Rave” genre – a kind of energized organic ambient rave, but without the formulaic arrangements and stupid drops. Mainstream club culture is horrible now, so I like to dream up alternative scenarios – I try to make undefined music for new undefined spaces, new emerging undefined situations and emotions  – I try not to make site or time-specific music – I like music that bring new light to different scenarios, music that could work in a home situation, on headphones, in a forest or on a boat, as a ritual tool, in the back room of a club or as a film score – the only place it won’t work is on chart radio – but is anyone listening to that anymore? “ Listen to the APPENDIX E.P. here  “The lockdown EP is an exploration of 2020s new mental landscapes: “Upper” is a uplifting hypnotic meditative tool made on a mix of analog, digital and modular hardware. Feel it. “#Metoo” is an ambient ballet for the new post rave world. “Virus” toys around with vocals, and the EP ends in the blissful drum-free void of “Safespace”. The EP is an expansion of the Sofarave paradigm – hypermodern music to take the position of dusty jazz, clinical classical and boring adult rock – sonic drugs and perfumes for  all situations, mediation and film.” Listen to the Lockdown E.P. here

Soundtracks vol.7: “sofa tourism or the missing link between Basic Channels dub side projects, trap, 90s triphop and Blade Runner? Its as if downtempo stoner music and dark ambient had a kid who ran away from the yoga classes and the club dance floor into a new undefined territory. The album starts out with a mutation of gongs and discreet beats, then swirls into a breathtaking cloud of great beauty. More floating textures follow until you start nodding to at Princeish beat, before the 303 hits. It continues the style of the rave museum album: “Krauterblut” is a nod to German 1970s postrock cloned into house. The manic “Happytalism” stay uptempo with 909 drums and a weird raw arpeggio. The album ends with “Betabux Brad is a Doomer at Heart” – listen to an ambient drama here..
“The Insider E.P. is revisiting a mutant dubby universe spiked with chopped breaks, punchy electro-boogie, and echoes of 80s NYC and 90s Berlin recorded as heard from a womb. The tracks mix neon nostalgia with hope for new magic post-lockdown social orgies.”  Listen here Listen to CLUB MIRAGE hereListen to FLASHBACKS here

LIsten to AMNESIA here

Listen to Hyperthymesia here

Listen to Elite Bubble here

Listen to Bliss here

Studio tactics? “I prefer to start from scratch and build a unique studio setup – and a hybrid of genres – for each track as I try to remove references and fix points, I prefer a more organic structure and arrange beyond drop fixated body music or hookline fetishism. Proces still fascinate me – even after 35 years in studios. The proces is so random – you can have a perfect idea, mood and setup – and work a lot on a track that ends in the bin. Or vise versa, you can be depressed and blank and bang out a killer in 20 minutes on a rusty crap workstation, like you’re channeling something.”

“I try to dance and use a lot of inputs apart from the mouse and keyboard –  music is a body thing, and I try to avoid studio work that feels like building a ship in a bottle. I even dusted off my old MPC and got some modular stuff and a weird deep 2000s Roland synth up from the cellar, to avoid eccesive screen time. Next up is the W30 I used on my first record, I like its limitations, there is a kind of zen to it compared to the vast laptop options – but hardware eats time. I avoid beeing an architect – Im more like a stripper in the studio. I try to make something that affects in a more abstract way, as I find the emotional palette in modern music too compressed.”

The future? “Watch out for an online mixtape album with some tracks containing uncleared samples – I even got a chilly boom bap mix – and an old live and dj sets on mixcloud.  I got some new  tools I have been waiting for that finally is available.  I will also start a collaborative album with the cream of the crop from my musical journey. And hopefully I will kill my angst for vocals and start to sing on the next albums?”

Do you still DJ? “I prefer to play conneisseur clubs, private parties, events, outdoor stuff and art openings – so I can sleep before 02 – I still love to see how people react to sound and test new tracks and just party.”

Inquire for soundtracks, remixes, live performances and dj sets here

Peter Smith

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